Testudo, illegally parked outside McKeldin for 50 years, finally towed by DOTS
The beloved statue had accumulated 1,287 unpaid parking tickets, according to a DOTS official.
“My arrow moved on her like a b—-!” Zeus fires Cupid over leaked Valentine’s Day audio.
“When you’re the god of love, they let you do anything.”
Dog, forced to wear glasses for Instagram photo, now president of local book club
“We’re not really that concerned,” his owner explained. “Although he has looked a bit mangy ever since he finished the tail-end of Old Yeller.”
Shocked Palin learns ‘Secretary of Moose Hunting’ not a real cabinet position
After a comprehensive Wikipedia search, Sarah admitted that the new administration may lack such a role.
An inconvenient Youth: Trump your own adventure!
I’ve created a choose your own adventure guide so you can envision yourself in Donald’s tiny, gold-plated shoes.
A complete list of people, places and things Donald Trump has not insulted on Twitter
The Times made a list of what Trump insulted on Twitter. I made a list of what he didn’t.
From Cruz to Kanye: 2016’s forgotten lawsuits
A timeline of this year’s lesser known court cases.
Casting the 2016 election movie
When this election campaign is turned into dramatic film on Lifetime, who should play the major characters?
An Inconvenient Youth: You won’t believe Trump’s epic side-boob clapback
My ongoing quest to trick people into reading my columns.
An Inconvenient Youth: Local columnist runs out of ideas, rips off The Onion
“Writing my own jokes takes a lot of effort, and I’m not sure that I’m ready for that time commitment right now.”