Speaking to reporters following a crucial Maryland men’s basketball victory over Michigan State, Kevin Huerter’s mom announced she will extend the freshman forward’s bedtime to 9 p.m. tonight. The decision comes after Huerter tied a team high with six rebounds, helping the Terps big men out-hustle the Spartans’ vaunted frontcourt.
“Usually we have Kevin all tucked in and ready for his bedtime story by 8,” a Maryland basketball spokesman explained. However, after today’s win, Erin Huerter chose to postpone Kevin’s nightly lullaby and glass of warm milk, reportedly so he would have enough time for a celebratory pajama party with fellow freshman teammates Anthony Cowan and Justin Jackson.
The decision was made after a hard-fought second half, culminating in junior guard Melo Trimble’s dramatic game-winning three point shot. The buzzer beater inspired Huerter, the NCAA’s only 12-year-old athlete, to gush “I want to be like Melo when I grow up,” according to multiple sources inside the Terps’ locker room.
Coach Mark Turgeon also endorsed Huerter’s bedtime extension, adding that “sometimes Kevin plays so well, an extra post-game juice box just isn’t a large enough reward.” Then, after attempting in vain to suppress a wry smile, Turgeon knowingly mused “it probably won’t matter. After a game like that, Kevin will be curled up with his favorite stuffed turtle by 6:30, tops.”
Reuven Bank, Opinion Editor and Kevin Huerter’s disgruntled former babysitter, is a sophomore ecology and evolution major. He can be reached at reuven.bank@yahoo.com.
