Happy Homecoming week, Terps! But more importantly, happy week before Halloween … week. This is the time when you start getting invited to spooky get-togethers and dreaded costume parties.
Picture this: A friend sends you an Evite for their apartment costume party on Friday. “Who still does Evites?” you ask. But there’s no time for that because the party is Friday. You look up “Quick Halloween Costumes” but every result is boring, overdone. So, you look up “Fast Halloween Costumes” and that does nothing either.
Then, it dawns on you. What better way to celebrate both Homecoming and Halloween — my two favorite H holidays, besides H-Arbor Day, Arbor Day’s secret cousin — than to dress up as someone from the University of Maryland? So you look that up and lo and behold, this article pops up.
Testudo
Let’s start things off easy. Testudo is a great costume that can get more detailed with the more time you put into it. If you have ten minutes before a party, I suggest cutting out a shell from an old cardboard box, poking holes in the sides for straps and using some spare elastic or shoe strings to create straps to attach the shell to you. If you make a smaller shell, you could also use duct tape to attach the shell, but that might fall off as you run around the campus getting up to old-fashioned Hallow’s Eve mischief.
A variation of Testudo I would love to see is Scary Testudo. Get some fake blood and dribble it around your mouth, maybe circle your eyes with black eyeshadow. What happened to Testudo? We’ll just say the Nittany Lions got a little too close.
[DC punk exhibit at UMD contextualizes the irresistible urges to rebel]
Adele H. Stamp
Getting a little bit more niche, you can be the queen of student life at this university — the late, great Adele H. Stamp. I invite you to do a quick Google search or run as fast as possible to Stamp Student Union and find her portrait by the main entrance. I’ll wait.
Okay, now that you’re back and know who I’m talking about, I can start giving you ideas. Put on the old prom dress you never got to wear because COVID-19 canceled your prom, get a short white wig, add some eyeliner wrinkles to your face, and top it all off with a bunch of stamps on your dress. You’re Adele H. Stamp, baby! Now go to the food court and pray Panda Express is still open because you need to treat yourself to some orange chicken.
VeoRide Scooter
My roommates dressed up like this last year, but I think it needs to be shared with the world. The first part of the costume is the outfit. Acquire an all-black ensemble, such as a black long-sleeve shirt and pants. Then, cut out the VeoRide letters using turquoise construction paper or colored cardboard. After taping those to your body, grab an old headband and some tin foil or wire to make the handlebar shapes. Attach the tin foil or wire to your headband and put it on. Now you have a VeoRide outfit!
The second part of the costume is the attitude. You must run everywhere. Do not stop. Go so fast that it seems almost egregious. Try to hit as many of your friends as possible. Invite some friends to climb on your back and keep running. The fun never stops!
[UMD Dunkin’ fans remain loyal despite controversial rewards program update]
Dining Hall (Take your pick!)
Wear your favorite Maryland gear, but before you put it on, you have to roll around in tater tots for 30 minutes. It’s the only way to get the authentic smell. Carry a tray with plates of the dining hall essentials: quesadillas, egg sandwiches, green smoothies, chicken tenders. Make sure you blast the strangest music from your phone or a speaker — I’m talking “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz, followed by the whistle from The Hunger Games, followed by “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran. You’ll be the life of the party and the lifeblood of students who rely on you for sustenance during these trying times.
Brendan Iribe
To dress like this alum and building namesake, you only need a few things. First, acquire an insane amount of money. I don’t care how you do it, but you must have it to make the costume completely accurate. Then, put on some glasses and a suit. Finally, over the glasses, put on an Oculus headset. Make sure you can’t see anything. Then you’re free to enjoy the night! Don’t run into any people, open roads or oncoming traffic!
Good luck on your journey to be the most esoteric person at the squished party in a tiny South Campus Commons living room that has a weird vat of mystery juice in the corner. I hope you’re able to wow everyone with your school spirit and your spookiness. Happy early Halloween week!
