On top of an already overplayed Valentine’s Day, Drake woke up and chose chaos.

The rapper dropped Some Sexy Songs 4 U, an unexpected collab with his favorite OVO avenger, PARTYNEXTDOOR. Through a mix of unperfected (and mildly offensive) accents ranging from Jamaican, to Canadian, to Spanish, combined with reheated Timbaland production nachos, Drake reintroduced his baby girl persona after a mini disappearance following the Kendrick Lamar beef. Within an hour of its drop, the 21-track album ruined the first hour of my holiday.

I skipped to the song with the most intriguing title, “NOKIA.” In this track, Anita Max Wynn — Drake’s infamous meme persona from 2023 — makes an insufferable return to center stage. The first half leans on a 2000s bounce, but producer Elkan’s voice repeatedly croons “Baby girl,” surprisingly erasing any initial doubt that this could be Drake’s worst song yet. 

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Despite this, I could still picture myself dancing to the song in a college bar — a fantasy that became a reality just a day after the album dropped.

After months of back-and-forth beef and blatant embarrassment from his heated feud with Lamar, I personally wouldn’t have the confidence to include a track such as “MEET YOUR PADRE” on my so-called comeback album, especially after rumors of a secret love child surfaced loudly in Lamar’s iconic diss track “meet the grahams.” 

The four and a half-minute song features Drake performing undercooked Spanglish verses alongside Mexican singer Chino Pacas who performs in actual Spanish. Traces of Jamaican slang like “Gyal” were also slipped in. The only consistent element? The steady contemporary Latin beat in the background.

But, who cares? As Drake says himself: “Yeah, I want to pay your rent and pay your taxes.”

As far as the worst song titles in his discography go, “GIMME A HUG” may just take the crown.  Drake is known to play a variety of archetypes — BBL Drizzy (thanks to Metro Boomin), Anita Max Wynn, proud Canadian and even Degrassi guy in a wheelchair. But who knew he’d want to add fuel to the fire by embracing the literal “Where’s my hug at?” persona with a corresponding title?

Beyond the absurdity, the gospel-inspired sample echoing throughout the track serves as the perfect backdrop to this song. But then the first verse hits: “Take a minute, take a deep breath, have a little bit of patience / Drizzy, you amazin’, you the inspiration,” and I’m transported back to Take Care Drake — the one with the legendary flow. It was a pleasant surprise to hear his peak persona shine through, especially on an album with its fair share of disappointing tracks.

Yebba, known for her unforgettable, gut-punching interlude “Yebba’s Heartbreak” from Certified Lover Boy returns in “DIE TRYING.” A groovy bossa nova beat beautifully complements  the desperation in Drake’s words as he wrestles with the decision: “Girl, I can’t decide if I should stay and say I tried / Or I should leave and say goodbye / It’s killin’ me inside.” It’s real, raw and taps into the R&B lover boy we all knew circa 2021. 

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Yebba’s small solo at the end is delivered in a perfect bow within a subtle yet impactful moment among two grown men. She even references Drake’s 2020 track “Laugh Now Cry Later” with her closing line: “So laughing or crying will only make it worse.” She’s right.

Despite the album’s lackluster reception overall, Drake — and all of his personas — were welcomed back to the industry with open arms. If anyone can bounce back after the rollercoaster year he’s had, it proved to be Drake, because Some Sexy Songs 4 U is not an album that just anyone could pull off.