Edited By Daryl Perry and Harper Lawson

From the ‘we’ve all been there’ to ‘yikes,’ here are your anonymous sex stories.

“My first time, the guy was wearing a CAPE. Not only before; during. That’s the story.”

“I uh… had sex with a mask on. #covidsafe”

(Illustration by Taneen Momeni/The Diamondback)

“Dude put on Scary Story 3.”

“I can confirm that, at least from my own experience, the ‘people having sex in McKeldin Library’ thing is not just a rumor.”

“I hooked up with a guy in his car on the top of a parking garage and when we were done he pulled out his phone and showed me a 7-minute animatic of an unreleased Hamilton song on Youtube.”

(Illustration by Taneen Momeni/The Diamondback)
  • “I have sex with my hand all the time, it’s lonely out here.”
  • “One time I was making out with this dude when my nose started bleeding all over his face while I’m on top of him. For some reason, I didn’t see that as a sign that I should put my shirt back on and go home. He said he wanted to put on some music, played my ex-girlfriend’s terrible indie music. [He] said my head game brought him closer to God. When he saw I was upset afterward he gave me a Pez dispenser then I went home and realized I’m a lesbian.”
  • (Illustration by Taneen Momeni/The Diamondback)
  • “Proud virgin.”
  • “All I will say about it is this: the in-public-bar-scene-make-outs have ALWAYS been better than what happens once we make it back to the bedroom.”
  • “F*ck twin beds.”
  • “I got a minor concussion from being rode and having my head repeatedly slammed against the wall.”