NOTE: Only engage in this activity with people you trust and have mutual consent.
Ah, sexting …
It is the modern love poem. It is Jack sketching Rose’s nude body in Titanic but on a phone and not on a boat, unless you want it to be.
Sexting has taken the world by storm and for good reason. It’s sexy — if done right — especially if you want to maintain a little bit of spice in a long distance relationship.
Sexting can be broken down into two categories: nudes and the written word. Sometimes, you can even have some fun and combine the two.
When it comes to writing out a spicy text, people might be nervous about what to say. They don’t want to sound dumb or say the wrong thing. But as it is in everything, confidence is also what is key.
Sexting should come rather naturally. You don’t want to jump from 0 to 100 in a conversation. Instead, you want to start off slow and let the other person know that you’re thinking of them in a sexual context. Assuming you know this person also thinks of you in the same way, things should naturally progress from there.
As things get more intense, don’t be afraid to get specific. Tell them what you want to do to them or what you want them to do to you. Play off each other and let them know when they say something that gets you excited. Communication is obviously key here, and sexting can also be a great way to express what you want in the bedroom without actually asking for it.
But you can also use surprise to your advantage. As your lover is going about their day, you can send them a text, as spicy as you want, out of nowhere. Just make sure they aren’t screensharing their presentation on Zoom.
On that same token, be somewhat cautious when you engage in these activities. Surprising your person with a sultry text can be great, but you don’t want to send it to the wrong person. Also, be aware of the people around you, because you don’t want them to see what you might be writing or receiving.
All of these apply when you start dabbling in the visuals as well — but there are some more stakes when it comes to taking and sending nudes.
We live in a day and age where nudes can be sent anywhere on any app. Snapchat is usually a fan-favorite since photographs or videos disappear after you send them. However, your partner may ask if they can screenshot and keep the photo or want to screen record something you send.
So, set your boundaries. If you do not feel comfortable with another person having an intimate content of you, do not feel bad saying so. If you don’t mind, or are okay with them keeping certain things, they should respect those decisions. Additionally, make sure that the person you are sending photos to is someone you trust and that they consent to receiving pictures or videos from you.
When it comes to taking nudes, there are truly no rules. Figure out your body and maybe even take some time to experiment yourself. Take pictures of yourself and try different angles. Try putting on something that makes you feel sexy.
Try taking pictures in the mirror and use the phone to hide your face or show only a little of it. You can also use flash — that way, it hides your face for more mystery but accentuates everything else. For full body pictures, you can try using a timer so you can also see what you look like and pose the right way.
You also don’t have to show everything in the nude to make it sexy. Something can always be conveniently placed, such as a towel or even an emoji you can paste on top, to hide the area that the other person might really want to see. Don’t be afraid to tease and build that sexual tension.
Like with written nudes, if you have a back-and-forth in the works, try asking for what you want to see and hype the other person up. People should feel good when they’re being physically vulnerable and know that they’re sexy.
As always, have consent, feel confident and don’t sext and drive.