This article is part of The Diamondback’s 2021 Welcome Back Guide. Click here for the rest.
Sometimes when you go on campus, you’ve got to go. Shoving through the first stall you see might not always be advisable. Here are 10 of the best and worst bathrooms on campus, according to our staff.
– Rachel S. Hunt, director of digital strategy and staff writer
Jiménez Hall
1 out of 5 shells
The moment you step foot into these fluorescent yellow bathrooms, you will regret it. Sandwiching both yourself and your backpack into the stall is near impossible and you can practically make eye contact with your neighbor through the cracks. There’s no place to set your things when you wash your hands, and the lack of regulated air flow will have sweat beading at your temples. You might want to find somewhere else to hide if you’re avoiding Spanish class.
– Rachel S. Hunt, director of digital strategy and staff writer
Toll Physics Building
1 out of 5 shells
These bathrooms — especially in the basement — are absolutely horrific. They’re cramped, smelly and poorly lit. The upper floors get a bit less traffic, but still leave much to be desired. The most appalling part? The men’s bathroom has stalls while the women’s bathroom is a singular toilet and a sink. Slightly more privacy, perhaps, but something about it just doesn’t sit right. To the Terps who are women in STEM: good luck.
– Christine Zhu, staff writer
North Campus Dining Hall
1 out of 5 shells
If you’d like to wash your hands before eating the food you just got, maybe don’t use this restroom. The sinks either yield a sluggish trickle or explode water onto your outfit. And either the dispensers are broken or there’s just no soap to begin with. Either way, the bathroom is hot and humid, half the toilets don’t flush and the seats always have dusty shoe prints. Sure, it’s conveniently located, but I’m sure you’d want to be able to properly disinfect your hands before a meal.
– Jessica Ye, opinion columnist
Architecture Building
2 out of 5 shells
The architecture building bathrooms are just average. There’s not really anything special about them, not sparkling clean but not too shabby either — except, for some reason, the doorways are really oddly tall and narrow. Something about the area of the bathrooms as a whole has a very eerie vibe, but in a way, it fits with the vibe of the rest of the studio. Definitely go with a buddy if you can. Would not recommend late at night.
– Christine Zhu, staff writer
Stamp Student Union
3 out of 5 shells
These bathrooms scream “mediocre” as well. As one of UMD’s biggest campus traffic stops for current students, prospective students, their families and other wandering tourists, you’d think they would have put a little more effort into the drab walls, flimsy toilet paper and scuffed-up mirrors. Would’ve been 2 out of 5 shells, if not for their convenience.
– Rachel S. Hunt, director of digital strategy and staff writer
McKeldin Library
4 out of 5 shells
When you enter a library, you expect vigorous intellectual stimulation and a jaunty discourse. When I enter a library bathroom, I expect the same. The first stall of the main men’s bathroom on the first floor of McKeldin delivers on this lofty ideal. The walls are covered in a range of scribblings, ideologies and feelings, representing the breadth of the Maryland experience. As a whole, the bathrooms across the library get the job done — the stalls have walls and they’re generally pretty clean. But while you do your business, your mind will do the same. Read the walls.
– Jake Foley-Keene, opinion editor
Edward St. John Learning and Teaching Center
4 out of 5 shells
The St. John Center first floor single stall bathroom is known far and wide as being one of the only safe places to use the bathroom on campus. What many fail to realize is the building has multiple lesser known single stall bathrooms throughout. My personal favorite is the bathroom in the basement with a shower simply because I find it funny imagining someone taking a break from classes to shower in ESJ. It would get a 5 out of 5 from me if it wasn’t a bit of a gamble waiting for a stall.
– Evan Hecht, staff writer
Knight Hall
4 out of 5 shells
In a review brought to you by bias, I’m happy to report that the bathrooms in Knight Hall are pretty pleasant. The stalls are spacious, there’s usually never a line as journalism majors frantically dash in and out, and they’re as clean as you could hope for in a public restroom. You can enjoy the quippy graffiti of “Turn down for what” on the first floor women’s restroom dual flush system sign while you go. Thankfully, the building’s glass exterior is not incorporated into the design of the bathroom, leaving you with a pretty peaceful bathroom experience.
– Madison Peek, general assignment editor
The Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center
5 out of 5 shells
The Clarice has a lot of hidden amenities that you might not hear a lot about. The toilet paper is restocked the moment it runs out — seriously, who’s watching us? The sink faucets stick out far enough for you to wash your hands comfortably (an underrated necessity). Do your business in peace while you listen to a violinist run through Mendelssohn for the 13th time. But beware, these bathrooms are cold, though they offer great reverb! Additionally, the mirrors are big enough for your midday mirror selfies perfect for the ‘gram.
-Marlia Nash, staff writer
Honorary mention: The Cornerstone Grill & Loft women’s bathrooms
The best bathroom in College Park is the second floor women’s bathroom at Cornerstone. During a night out, you’ll meet some of the nicest people you’ll never see again in here. The bathroom was at its peak when one of the stalls had “MEN ARE A DISEASE” carved on the wall, but I think that was removed during a recent renovation. I’ve both laughed and cried in this bathroom, and I’d say it suited both moods perfectly. It’s still a dirty bar bathroom due to high traffic on a busy night, but its energy is impeccable.
-Emma Grazado, diversions, engagement editor
