Did Georgetown students who were hanging out in their apartments or doing work at the library get a campus alert around 9:30 p.m. Tuesday night, warning them about a robbery that occurred just a few miles away at the Verizon Center?
They should’ve, because the Terps stole a game from the Hoyas. Absolutely pilfered it. And it all came down to the last sequence.
Here’s a detailed breakdown of what was going through the minds of Maryland fans everywhere in those tense final moments…
“Melo Trimble hit those two free throws, because of course Melo Trimble hit those two free throws. Forget the cliché about him having ice water in his veins. He doesn’t have anything in his veins. Know why? BECAUSE HE HAS NO VEINS. Know why? Because he’s a cyborg. A cyborg with settings like Drain pull-up threes mode and Get to the hoop every time mode and Have a super fresh haircut mode (this one is permanently turned on, by the way. It’s a default setting).
That’s why his two shots from the line were basically a formality. After Georgetown fouled Melo at the other end of the court, he programmed himself to go into Make crucial free throws mode, which is exactly what he did. Now all Maryland has to do is hold on for 7.6 ticks, and it’ll have bragging rights over snobby Georgetown fans for an entire year. They’ll be sad, they’ll get their tears all over the heated leather seats in their Audi S6s and they’ll have to wipe them with their expensive turtlenecks. It’ll be great.”
“Damn, those Hoyas are movin’. Already halfway to the hoop and still have 5.8 seconds to work with. Say, wait a minute — what is a Hoya anyway? They have that cute little dog as their official mascot, but their team is called the Hoyas?
Well, according to their website, “When all Georgetown students were required to study Greek and Latin … it is suggested that a student, using Greek and Latin terms, started the cheer “Hoya Saxa!,” which translates into “What Rocks!” The name proved popular and the term “Hoyas” was eventually adopted for all Georgetown teams. Jeez, that’s so terrible. Cringeworthy, almost. Was starting to feel bad about the snobby insult that was just hurled in Georgetown’s direction, but not anymore. They deserve to catch this L solely based upon that goofy origin story.”
“This could be bad. The ball’s been passed to Jagan Mosely, and Mr. Mosely has a lane so open, one of Maryland’s campus buses could drive through it. Come to think of it, it would be much better for the Terps if they were trying to stop a Maryland bus as opposed to a Georgetown player, because the bus would make a bunch of unnecessary stops (one at the three-point line, one at the foul line, and an inexplicable one at the sideline that is totally out of the way) and it would most definitely be late. That’s what Maryland’s buses do. But, alas, that’s not the situation. It’s going to be Mosely vs. the defense, and it’s about to go down.”
“He’s turned the corner. It’s over. Adam Sandler is more relevant than Maryland football, and Maryland basketball, which barely beat American, is going to lose to Georgetown. Maybe they’ll sneak into the NIT this year.”
“Oh yeah, it’s most certainly over. Mosely is a Division I college basketball player, and all he has to do is make a left-handed layup to finish the matchup. The NIT probably isn’t even a possibility at this point, actually. There’s something called the College Basketball Invitational at the end of the year; Maryland can play in that thing — if they get invited, that is.”
“Kevin Huerter on Jagan Mosely = LeBron James on Andre Iguodala, except better. When Huerter left his high school, they honored him by changing their logo to a silhouette of him. It’s probably time to start getting together some rough drafts of another logo, this time for Maryland.
Also, let’s make sure there’s some room in the rafters for his jersey to hang. And — not that the university’s campus needs more construction — but let’s start up another project and name it the Kevin Huerter Building. Once the project’s completed, all the computers in the Kevin Huerter Building will block you when you try to log in. They’ll be useless, sure, but will also remind users of this unforgettable play in the young athlete’s career.”
“COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“What we were thinking” is a series from TerpsWatch in which writers will choose a play or sequence from Maryland basketball games and break down, moment-for-moment, what was going through the head of a typical fan. This is the first installment.
