College is disappointing. It tells us a lot of things about ourselves – we’re irresponsible, we can’t be trusted and taking risks is frowned upon. It tells us the easy way is best and we should blame others for our failure. And what worries me is that we’re living like we believe this nonsense.
From day one, we are treated as if we cannot make decisions. Dorm residents have mandatory meal plans and focus dates. Without them, we’d apparently block out the hunger pangs and forget to feed ourselves because we’re that stupid.
Professors require attendance because we can’t be trusted to pursue learning at our own speed. Color me ungrateful, but for the sadly significant proportion of professors who teach straight out of textbooks, I have the ability to read on my own time. A truly skilled teacher – we’ve all met them before – can command a classroom’s attention and attendance simply by providing interesting material and treating students like adults.
The list goes on, but you get the point. Unfortunately, we’re buying the hype. We have started to believe we’re irresponsible. We lack confidence in ourselves, disemboweled by years of babying. Our internal cores of accountability are limp and weak.
Throughout my life I have offered an endless stream of excuses. I came in late on a song because the conductor didn’t point at me. I fumbled an interview because they had it out for me. I did poorly in Communication class because my instructor couldn’t speak English.
These once-comforting cop-outs have begun to taste increasingly bitter. By rationalizing away failures, our successes are devalued. Instead of recognizing when we do well, we imply we were merely lucky. Better lucky than good is no way to live – we should accept responsibility for all our actions, knowing that we are the main reason for both our failure and success.
It would be nice if school, the loveable place where we’ve twiddled away the last decade-plus of our lives, would help us with this lesson. Punish us when we’re no good, but encourage us when we are.
Unfortunately, how often have we glimpsed at a friend’s work and wondered why at no time during formal education was he told he would never make it as an artist? How many times, when we show true talent in less socially acceptable fields such as anthropology, have counselors harrumphed and smacked us with a law school brochure?
And they wonder why it takes us so long to decide on a career. It’s the worst of both worlds: A double team of politically correct coddling, seasoned with a barrel of conformist instinct. School needs to be honest and do everything but pander out of a warped sense of paternal responsibility. The real world is just a week away for some of us, and surprise – there aren’t any mandatory meal plans.
I suppose for now, we have to accept that mass education is heavy handed and risk adverse. Let’s tolerate what school tells us, that we’re meant to be average, but not great, acceptable, but not outstanding, conforming, but not confident. But let us never listen to these words and let these lessons become who we are. It’s so much easier to wallow in our sorrows than to face them head on. It’s easier to assign blame than to accept responsibility.
I would love to hope college can transform itself into a system that encourages honest evaluation, risk taking and individualism, but in the meantime, we should take a hint from Mark Twain, and never let schooling interfere with our education. Accept that we are in control of our own lives, and our successes and failures come from within. Otherwise, we’ll never be anything more than ordinary.
Sing Su is the opinion editor of The Diamondback. He can be reached at singsu@umd.edu.
