Some people are born bored. Others have boredom thrust upon them.   

Some people have the drive to involve themselves in things such as the Student Government Association. I’m not some people. I’m an average-to-below-average guy in general, but because of my job here, for the past few weeks, I’ve been privy to the wonderful world of the SGA. The excitement. The majesty. The power. The revamped website. The Safety Walk.

Balls, this stuff is boring. I really respect all the people who involve themselves and their passion and shit and whatever. But holy Christ, this stuff excites me about as much as reading the online comments on my Monday column.

Be that as it may, I appreciate the activism. So while the SGA kids are trying to get out the vote and encourage students to get involved, I’m going to reach out to a very particular student group that’s been dormant for way too long — funny people.

When I got here, it seemed like every election season brought the promise of a union between university comedians, sketch groups, general miscreants, troublemakers, carpetbaggers, Elvis impersonators, jokers, smokers and midnight tokers. These people would come out from the depths of what I can only assume is Hell and piece together the best part of any election season: the joke campaign.

And let me tell you, we needed it this year. During these past few weeks, I spent more time listening to Steve Glickman’s campaign to create an all-you-can-eat, buffet-style diner on North Campus (with a Kosher option) than any human should ever be subject to — which is to say, more than zero minutes. At this point, I could use the comedic relief. Even the zany student activists of the “STARE coalition of human beings who may or may not be friends with one another and like politics and have similar mindsets and whatever” actually turned out to be really involved, experienced and intelligent. So in other words, boring.

And by the way, that name is a mouthful. They should have just called themselves a party. Duh.

What we need is a group of people who are willing to dedicate themselves to bullshit. People like me. I’ve worked tirelessly over the past two years to challenge the status quo of values such as “coherent writing” and “columns with a legitimate basis in fact.” I’m looking for some lads and lasses who are going to pick up the torch next year. I mean you, Sketchup. And you, Erasable, Inc. The SGA elections are one of your grandest stages, and you’re wasting it. Think about it. We here at The Diamondback have to run profiles of, and guest columns from, every presidential candidate. You get to go to the debates. The stage is set. All you have to do is show up and make people laugh.

And I’ll make you this promise: Although I’m graduating and going on to bigger and better things — such as living in my parents’ basement — I will return next year and manage the campaign of anyone who is willing to run on my ticket, which I call “We Like To.” So let me know if you’re willing to support the We Like To Party.

Maybe then next year, the elections process won’t be so tense and stuffy. Hey, there’s a campaign promise for you. And maybe next year, people will appreciate what we’ll do. “We Like To Party,” they’ll say. “We like We Like To Party.”

Rob Gindes is a senior journalism major. He can be reached at gindes at umdbk dot com.