“…it doesn’t make sense to start this list with a movie called Valentine’s Day. But this film is so unbelievably bad that it will turn your tears into laughter before you know it. —Michael Errigo

Valentine’s Day is upon us, but that doesn’t mean everyone is in a cheerful, romantic mood. If the only “significant other” in your life is a box of Pop-Tarts or a creeping sense of loneliness, here are a few movie suggestions to put you out of your misery on this day of love. 

1. Valentine’s Day (2010) — I know, I know; it doesn’t make sense to start this list with a movie called Valentine’s Day. But this film is so unbelievably bad that it will turn your tears into laughter before you know it. 

2. New Year’s Eve (2011) — Pair this with No. 1 on this list just to keep those laughs going.

3. Fatal Attraction (1987) — Glenn Close’s performance as a stalker in this classic thriller will make you not only never want to date again, but also never want to meet anyone else. Forever. Just in case.

4. Blue Valentine (2010) — This tour de force by director Derek Cianfrance is by no means a love story. Rather, it is a painful expose on the harsh realities of marriage and its deterioration. Watch this movie only if you feel like getting punched in the stomach.

5. Madea’s Valentine’s Day — Just kidding. This movie doesn’t exist (yet).

5. American Psycho (2000) — This one’s great for when you’re in the mood to feel better about yourself by way of viewing crazy people. After only one viewing, you will deny liking Huey Lewis and the News for the rest of your life.

6. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) — Nothing says love and affection like a good old-fashioned custody battle.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) — Ladies: Just be happy you don’t have a man that ages backwards. Also, be happy you haven’t had your ballet career ruined by a car accident. I understand both of these things are unlikely, but still — don’t take it for granted.

8. Enough (2002) — This one is particularly for those of you who enjoy three things: subpar semi-action movies from the early 2000s, Jennifer Lopez in “Jenny from the block” mode or wives getting sweet, sweet revenge on their ex-husbands.

9. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) — What’s more anti-Valentine’s Day than hearts being ripped out? Like literally ripped out. It’s pretty crazy.

10. Life of Pi (2012) — This is just to promote a glass-half-full way of thinking. So many things are worse than being alone on Valentine’s Day. Like being lost at sea. Alone. With a tiger.

Return to our main Valentine’s Day page here.