The Terrapin football team earned its fans 12 free toppings on a Papa John’s large pizza Saturday by scoring six touchdowns and winning against Eastern Michigan.

I had the pleasure of ordering one of these delicious treats but decided I would base my toppings choices entirely on the players who scored those touchdowns – a tribute to the offense.

Each topping is a representation of the player it is dedicated to, because my warped mind allowed this whole thing to somehow make sense.

Maybe it’s really just an excuse for me to be fat.

Oh well. Here they are:

Pepperoni – Darrius Heyward-Bey

Pepperoni is the most popular of pizza toppings. Heyward-Bey is the most popular of Terp players. The wide receiver is also as slippery as the grease on a pepperoni pizza.

Roma tomatoes – Obi Egekeze

The senior kicker had been booed by fans before last week. In olden days, tomatoes were thrown along with booing to really emphasize the point. Those tomatoes suddenly are rather tasty.

Pineapple – Chris Turner

Californian Turner is a sweet spot for many Terp fans. The curly blonde quarterback led the offense down the field with efficiency for the second straight week against Eastern Michigan.

Olives – Isaiah Williams

Though the senior wide receiver has struggled to produce individually and rarely beats his man, Williams made the catch on Oquendo’s trick-play touchdown pass. Olives, similarly, are only edible on top of other ingredients.

Beef – Offensive line

The Terps’ five starting linemen all weigh in at 300 pounds or more. They probably eat a lot of beef. Dane Randolph and company both protected Turner and paved the way for a solid ground game. Papa John’s paved the way for some solid ground beef.

Mushrooms – Davin Meggett

Like mushrooms, the 5-foot-8, 210-pound running back stays low to the ground. The true freshman has shown a lot of potential this year and is growing on Terp fans, almost as if he were a fungus.

Green peppers – Morgan Green

Green peppers are the product of under-ripened red peppers. The sophomore running back was still raw in the first significant action of his Terp career, but he was good enough. Just like green peppers.

Jalapeños – Torrey Smith

The kick returner and wide receiver is sometimes invisible, but when he has the ball in his hands, you know it because of his blazing speed. Jalapeños add that same spice to the 12-topping pizza.

Onions – Danny Oquendo

The wide receiver is often forgotten but crucial to the Terps’ overall success, similar to the under-the-radar onion. Oquendo’s 43-yard trick-play touchdown pass was like biting right into an onion sliver.

Grilled chicken – Dan Gronkowski

The senior tight end is reliable for the safe plays. He caught a touchdown pass on a play-action play so simple any quarterback could run it. Everyone likes chicken. No one complains about chicken.

Extra cheese – James Franklin

The offensive coordinator creates and calls all the plays. Even more than in the NFL, it is the coordinator who binds everything together, like the extra cheese layering this delicious pizza.

Sausage – Cory Jackson

The bruising fullback smashed his way through the Eastern Michigan defense for a 28-yard reception Saturday. He’s a whole lot of strength packaged into a 6-foot-1 frame, like meat squeezed into casing.

Papa John’s Special Garlic Sauce – Josh Portis

The quarterback led the Terps with 98 rushing yards Saturday, almost all of which were in the fourth quarter. He’s like the delicious sauce – pour him on at the end, and everything will taste better.

ajosephdbk@gmail.com

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