Photo courtesy of umdarboretumandbotanicalgarden.blogspot.com
After the harsh winter and unpleasantly rough start to spring, it’s finally time to put away our galoshes and hang up our parkas. Every morning, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping to the beat of a freshman’s peppy flip flops. However, with great weather comes great responsibility.
As tempting as it is to toss aside the bulk that is our winter wardrobe, we cannot simply slip into a favorite pair of shorts and opt for less arm coverage. Shorter hemlines mean longer morning preparation. Everyone get ready and remember to take baby steps; Old Man Winter has kept us out of the game far too long.
Girls: Dust off those razors. I’ll get to the guys in a second. We’re no longer hiding our legs in pants every day and we now have to measure up to those women in the Nair commercials, sans street dancing in stilettos. Long gone are the days of seeing how many showers could go by without calling shaving cream into action. Guys don’t pretend to be mortified by this and girls, don’t pretend you shaved every day during the cold weather — unless you braved winter’s wrath in a mini dress and actually shaved every day.
In that case, I wish I had your dedication. It’s annoying, yes, and is just one of the many things women do to be socially acceptable. Please, for the love of all things smooth, remember this step before buttoning your new shorts with the perfect amount of already-worn holes.
Now guys, you may not be as concerned with your shaving needs during warmer weather because, let’s be honest, a little scruff can go a long way in the bliss of a summer sun. However, you have still been cooped up all winter long and your rugged, handsome, skin is, at this point, needing Vitamin D. Some women may even “be kind of crazy” about Kenny Chesney’s farmer’s tan but here on campus, let’s gradually introduce yours. In times like these, I reach for a fresh bottle of self-tanning lotion. It helps my pale skin match that of a sun-kissed goddess in no time. While I may have no shame in potentially coloring myself a Snooki-like shade of orange, you men may be opposed to this. My suggestion is to debut the tanks and lacrosse pennies after your biceps have experienced a sufficient exposure to sunlight.
Although warmer weather allows us to wear cuter clothes, while also leaving us stuck to leather bus seats, we cannot jump the gun. So think about these things before losing the comfort of sweats and yoga pants for cooler, albeit slightly more high-maintenance, wardrobe choices.
