Romney and Ryan grace the stage at the 2012 GOP Convention in Tampa, Fl. 

Convention is a term that promotes fanaticism. At Comic-Con(vention) in San Diego every year, all the fanatics of comic book heroes, video games and whatever else you can think of gather for a four-day party. There are conventions for porn, automobiles, technology and even boats.

The best conventions, though, are the political ones.

The fanboys of the GOP were out in full force in Tampa last week, only letting Hurricane Isaac delay their escapade for an evening. As the Democrats are doing this week with Barack Obama, the Republicans made a phenomenal case to elect Mitt Romney as president.

How do I know they made such a great case? Well, when a party’s “heavy-hitters” are going out to promote their nominee with no chance at opposition being heard during the week, it’s hard not to make a great case. It’s not as much what they say as it is that everyone is saying it.

And, just as the Democrats are doing this week, EVERYONE says pretty much the same thing. A cliché right-winged speech will contain the following contents:

“My dad worked hard to put meals on the table,” bonus points if he came from another country, “we have given Obama his chance and he failed us,” followed by reasons why he failed us, “I have a loving family,” most Republicans have an attractive wife and at least three kids, most politicians cheat on their wives, “vote for Romney.”

Night one featured Ann Romney. During her speech, CNN showed about five different women crying in the audience. If you don’t know already, Ann Romney has Multiple Sclerosis, so her moving words combined with her ailment were sure to get the waterworks rolling in some of the more emotional women of the GOP.

Soon after Ann was Republican heavy hitter (and I do mean HEAVY hitter) Chris Christie, Governor of my home state: New Jersey. Christie has been described by some as a bully because of his aggressive demeanor, one that he did not hide during his speech. Others think he’s a GOP godsend and are optimistic of his run at the White House in the future. I think he’s been a good governor, but that doesn’t say much considering the past four Jersey governors before him were God awful.

I enjoyed Christie’s speech because he mentioned his twenties when he used to spend his summers at the Jersey Shore listening to Darkness on the Edge of Town. I realized immediately that Christie in his twenties was probably me in my twenties: cruisin’ around the strip in Sea Isle City, drunk, screaming the lyrics of Rosalita with the Jeff Ragones and Christian Rollos of the world. That’s pretty cool.

Night two featured Condo-Leaser Rice, who, after her speech, prompted the CNN talking heads to conclude that the right-winged females were giving the best speeches. They were right at the time (spoiler alert: “Go ahead, make my day”).

Paul Ryan took the stage in one of the more interesting speeches of the week. He botched several facts along the way, which any journalist knows is a stab to credibility. Journalists aren’t politicians though. Politicians can get out of anything; do you know how many have gotten caught cheating by their wives?

One of the more interesting moments of Ryan’s speech was when he mentioned that his Dad died when he was 16, just as CNN put up a graphic that said his father had died when he was 15. Fact-checker laziness all around.

I didn’t watch Romney’s speech on the final night, nor will I watch Obama’s. I’ve heard what both of them have to say many times, and I’d rather watch Louie anyway.

On the last night of the convention, the show was stolen by none other than Dirty Harry himself. Clint Eastwood gave a speech that incorporated humor and just overall old-people-ness that caused quite the crowd (and home viewer) response. How could you not expect him to steal the show though? It’s Clint F. Eastwood (you’ll never guess what the F stands for).

You can watch his speech here.

I wonder who will steal the show at the Democratic fanfest. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Juan Carlos Cervantes is a senior history major and student blogger for the Diamondback. He’s also a yellow belt and has auditioned to be The Bachelor.