Aside from British soccer star David Beckham and your little sister’s Ken doll, there is probably no man on earth whose chiseled physique, poised demeanor and confident swagger permit him to pull off literally any fashion statement — be it uptown or downtown, chic or shabby — the way Brad Pitt can.
In Snatch he sported a Bahama blue sport jacket over a deep red buttondown and a white tee with a little black hat to boot. In Ocean’s Twelve he rocked a pimpin’ all-white trench coat. And in the Armani fashion show that is Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Pitt dons white suits, European shades and in one desert dune buggy scene he even seems at-home wearing shorts, a tank top and a baseball cap whose brim has a punky skyward bend.
A polyester prince, a sultan of cotton, a jack of all suedes — if anyone has a chance to bring the speedo back this summer, it’s Pitt.
Oh yeah, and Angelina Jolie’s pretty gosh darn fetching as well.
Catch Mr. & Mrs. Smith and there will be no doubt in your mind that Brad made the right choice ditching Jen for Angelina. Major props go to the costume department that apparently made do despite the fact they bought all of Jolie’s tops and bottoms about two sizes too small (or if you’re a glass-half-full guy like me, two sizes juuuust right).
The ball’s in your court now, Jen, but let me warn you: Nothing short of a lap dance will change my mind that Angie’s got you beat (go ahead, do your worst, please, do it).
Oh yea, there’s a movie here too, and what a damn fun summer escapist action/comedy it is.
In the same vein as the Schwarzenegger flick True Lies, Mr. & Mrs. Smith pokes fun at the bullet-dodging life of secret agents (sniper rifles and silencers) and the mind-numbingly tedious domestic life (0% APR and drapes) that awaits when said agents are off the clock (amazing how espionage is such a 9-5 job).
John (Pitt) and Jane Smith’s (Jolie) marriage seems to have hit the rocks, so much so in fact that the film opens at a marriage counselor’s office. The hitman and hitwoman tandem (each of their clandestine backgrounds unbeknownst to their counterpart) cannot seem to recapture the spark that originally ignited when the two met on separate assignments in Colombia.
The opening bits of the film are thoroughly entertaining, with each character’s dialogue laced with clever double-meanings, which I can only imagine real secret agents do all the time and get a kick out of it at our expense.
Things heat up when each assassin’s firm sends them out after the same target, played by the silly and wonderfully charismatic Adam Brody (you know him as Seth from The O.C.).
After the two spouses unknowingly butt heads with one another about their mutual prey, they soon find out about one another’s lethal alter ego. An interesting conflict occurs as each wonders if they’ve been duped into marrying someone who’s been playing him or her all along.
Eddie, played by Vince Vaughn, who speed-talks his way through some of his best one-sided conversations since Old School, doesn’t help matters by advising John that Jane has been a snake lying in the grass. When John remarks he’s going to kill her, Eddie replies in that one-of-a-kind Vince Vaughn way, “I like where your head’s at.”
On a good-chemistry scale of one to 10, one being Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman and 10 being Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, Pitt and Jolie are about a nine. It’s almost as if the two are actually attracted to each other and dating in real life (although, both still deny the relationship).
Meanwhile, the libidinous audience gets to reap all the benefits as the sexiest stars in the world seem to keep finding innovative ways to show off cleavage, biceps, mile-long legs and abs (common sense should tell you who flaunts what; i.e., Pitt does not have cleavage).
While Pitt does well as the suave, fashionable man’s man we’ve grown accustomed to seeing him play in his past few films, one can’t help but wish he would revert back to oddball supporting performances, like his Oscar-nominated turn in 12 Monkeys, that better showcase the gifted actor’s comedic chops. But that’s just a picayune complaint that goes beyond the scope of this flick.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith has all you can ask for in a summer blockbuster — sexy stars, brisk pace, loud explosions and lots of laughs. A great date movie, the only disappointment leaving the theater will be that your date probably doesn’t look like Brad or Angelina.
