How many times have you heard the sentence, “Dude, I was sooo drunk last night,” begin someone’s story in the last week? If you’re a student at this university, I’m guessing quite a few. Everyone loves to meet at Bagel Place and list the drinks they remember (and don’t remember) throwing back – swapping stories and showing off battle scars. Being drunk can actually be considered a hobby in the college world, something to brag about with pride.
It makes you wonder: Do we really not have anything better to talk about than how ridiculous we act on Saturday nights?
Weekends in college are meant to be relaxing – a time to sit back, hang with friends and just calm down after a week of class. But for some, their nights are so insane they can’t help but share with every single person they encounter.
Take, for example, a story I recently heard from a friend: “We were just walking down this hallway, then I felt this, like, plaster on my face and heard my girlfriend scream, ‘Watch out!’ And then this guy fell from the ceiling – almost right on top of me. I almost died. We left the party, so I’m not sure what happened to him.”
Oftentimes, drinking can lead to injuries – both physical and emotional.
Here’s another gem I recently heard: “I was at my boyfriend’s house, and I apparently fell down the stairs, all the way to the basement. He told me about it in the morning because I didn’t remember. See, I have this habit of taking all my clothes off and rocking around in a fetal position, laughing hysterically at nothing.”
Some nights lead to happiness and almost making it through in one piece.
“I’m fine guys, I’m really okay; I was just Irish dancing and broke my ankle. Then I ran around to each person individually and told them they are beautiful. I’m a happy drunk!” another friend proclaimed to me.
This subculture of college life is supposed to be memorable, but is anyone actually remembering anything? It’s hard to imagine what life after school will be like. Without the ability to stumble in to your 8 a.m. hungover, how will you justify going out on a Tuesday night? When you get a real job and go out with your coworkers, I doubt they will appreciate how many seconds you can stay vertical during a keg stand.
The truth is, these stories people seem so proud of just inhibit the intelligent conversations that could potentially take place. Rather than talk about yesterday’s physics lecture or the recent conflicts in the Middle East, you would rather compete with your buddy in “how many shots of tequila can we take until we pass out?” It’s hard to believe that during four years of college – which are supposed to be about broadening your horizons and preparing for the “real world,” not increasing your alcohol tolerance – we value drinking anecdotes more than what’s on the news.
It seems for these four years, everyone has a Peter Pan complex. Everyone is holding on to that last ounce of immaturity to go wild because college is the last stop on the “growing up” train. But once you leave these hallowed grounds, it’s considered alcoholism. Remember kids, as famous American journalist and author Jimmy Breslin said, “When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.”
Maria Romas is a sophomore English and journalism major. She can be reached at romas@umdbk.com.
