To all of my friends in the Washington Redskins faithful, I wish to convey my congratulations that your team is not God-awful this year. But I’m going to ruin your day.

Seriously. What the hell is a Redskin?

Sports nicknames generally go for certain things — creativity, relevance, competitiveness, ferocity, mystique — and many other things that don’t describe a Redskin. It’s not remotely relevant, there’s no mystique and the ferocity is based on an ancient stereotype.

Society has moved on from prodding teams with racist monikers (81 percent of Native Americans are unoffended by their patronage in sports). The Washington Redskins have innovated, however, and found other ways to be profoundly racist. They refused to integrate their team until buckling to federal pressure to do so in 1962.

Meanwhile, other teams that use Native American mascots tend to narrow themselves — the Atlanta Braves (the Redskins’ original nickname until they presumably determined it wasn’t racist enough) use a term for a Native American warrior, which also happens to be a synonym for courage. The Florida State Seminoles represent a specific cultural aspect of Florida’s history. The Kansas City Chiefs represent leadership, and are also a nod to a former mayor who helped spread awareness of Native American culture in the Boy Scouts. There’s your mystique.

Let’s look at some other teams with great names, beginning with my hometown favorite, the New England Patriots. Our nation’s fight for independence began in Massachusetts; the term ‘patriot’ is synonymous with the region, and it’s easy to rally behind. If you disagree, you can go live in Russia. And who can forget the Patriots winning their first Super Bowl just months after the September 11 attacks, when Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft held the Lombardi Trophy high and said, “We are all Patriots, and tonight, the Patriots are world champions!” Perfect. What else is out there?

The Dallas Cowboys have a good theme going. Cowboys are associated with fearlessness, boldness and adventure. They are also historically linked to Texas. Well done.

The name 49ers is a reference to the Gold Rush of 1849. It’s an interesting choice, but I give more credit to the Pittsburgh Steelers, a nod to the industry that built their city. Steel also implies toughness, endurance … do I need to continue? It’s steel.

As for the San Diego Chargers … charge up, bro! It’s a weird pick, but it works for the surfer bros.

The Baltimore Ravens are named for Edgar Allen Poe’s poem, The Raven, as Poe lived in Baltimore for some time and is buried there. Sure, that’s relevant, and the raven is a fierce creature. I also like how they’ve incorporated the Maryland flag into their symbol. Still, they named a football team after a poem.

I’m generally not much a fan of using ferocious animals as mascots. When St. Louis fans call their team the Rams, I remind them they are, in fact, humans. However, I give credit to Chicago for matching two of their teams (Bears and Cubs).

As a Super Bowl XLII attendant, I will always resent the Giants for robbing my Patriots of a perfect 19-0 season. But I respect the name choice, a reference to a city that’s larger than life. Go to hell, Giants fans.

There’s a lot to naming a football team, and most of these sports teams did a pretty good job picking their mascots. But Redskins, your team didn’t.

It’s not cool, interesting, relevant or competitive. It just sucks. Washington is our nation’s capital, named for a man who led an unorganized military to defeat over a much more powerful enemy — a man who could bloodlessly have become George I of the Kingdom of America, but chose instead to relinquish his power to the people.

I could write 30 of these columns about George Washington’s epic awesomeness. Our nation’s capital is named for the man even King George III of England begrudgingly acknowledged as “the greatest man who ever lived,” yet all its proud football team reminds us is that our nation was built upon stolen land and broken promises.

Good luck with the remainder of the season, Redskins fans. Just know that every generation sees its finest hour in breaking cherished traditions of the past.

Greg Nasif is a senior history major. He can be reached at nasif@umdbk.com.