What would you do for a good pair of jeans?
It’s that time of year again: You’ve worn your jeans down to the last thread. The dark skinny jeans you once loved now resemble an 80’s-acid wash Capri.
I recently found myself in this predicament. I saved up my minimum wage paychecks and headed to an outlet.
I bounce myself through the doors and, to my dismay, a rack of jeans appear. And then another rack. And another. And another. I feel like I walked into a country star’s closet. Because I apparently have an alien body that doesn’t fit into any piece of clothing, I grab 12 pairs of each size and cut.
I shuffle to the dressing room and claim a stall in the back; I might be there a while. In front of the warped mirror, I jump and squeeze. I wiggle and shimmy into each pair until I find the perfect one that fits me like a glove.
Suddenly, a choir of angels sings out as I gracefully slip a pair on and button the waist. This only happens in fairy tales!
I rush to the register, slide my card and sprint back home. Everyone in my classes must know about my new purchase. I pick out the perfect outfit equipped with an over-sized sweater and combat boots to match. However, that must have been a magic mirror in that dressing room; nothing ever fits your quite like it did in there. I take a deep breath and make my way to class.
I find myself doing secret lunges as I walk down the hallway when no one is around. Hopefully no one notices my squats as I sit down in any chair. I think I just took someone out with my high-knee’s going up the stairs.
I might as well star in a Gangnam Style video. What do you do for a new pair of jeans?
