I’m from Illinois, a state that’s a veritable case study on political corruption, where four of the past nine governors have wound up in jail. So it is with begrudging admiration that I admit: Prince George’s County voters really know how to elect morally deficient officials.
Former County Executive Jack Johnson and his wife, a former County Councilwoman, are currently in jail for convictions related to flushing a $100,000 check down the toilet, stuffing $79,600 into underwear during an FBI raid and other related matters. Meanwhile, longtime State Sen. Ulysses Currie (D-Prince George’s) was recently censured by his colleagues after a federal corruption trial that ultimately ended in acquittal.
But county councilwoman Karen Toles (D-Suitland) — a 2000 graduate of this university — is the one who’s really got me fired up.
Councilwoman Toles was recently pulled over for speeding on the Capitol Beltway in her county-issued SUV. How fast was she driving? Oh, you know … (allegedly) somewhere between 105 and 108 mph — nearly twice the posted limit. She was pulled over after an approximately three mile pursuit that ended with multiple officers, guns drawn and a reportedly belligerent driver — who happened to be late for a meeting. Driving that fast in a 55 mph zone usually carries a recommended fine of $530, but Toles was warned about her speed and simply issued a $90 ticket for an improper lane change.
Holy Rod Blagojevich-selling-President-Obama’s-vacated-Senate-seat, that’s impressive. Some psycho spends her Wednesday afternoon weaving through Beltway traffic like she’s playing Grand Theft Auto and headed for the nearest Pay ‘n’ Spray — but she’s like, your boss’s boss’s boss, man. So take it easy.
Police say the officer who conducted the traffic stop didn’t have a radar gun or properly calibrated speedometer and couldn’t track her exact speed before she exited the Beltway; his testimony probably wouldn’t have held up in court, so he issued her a warning. The story seems plausible, I guess — but to be frank, I wouldn’t expect a police department that beats students and lies about it to hold county officials responsible for anything, anyway.
What gets me is, it takes a certain type of person to drive 105 mph in a taxpayer-owned vehicle on a weekday afternoon, be ticketed for multiple seat belt violations, two instances of an unsafe lane change and “driving off a roadway while passing another vehicle” — all in less than three years.
Councilwoman Toles, you are the reason I hate driving. You are the countless faceless egotistical maniacal drivers in the area — the solo driver in the carpool lane; the tailgating texter; the incessant lane shifter; the last-second exit ramper; the no turn-signaler; the cruise-in-the-left-lane, pass-on-the-right dummy; the motorist too busy to park straight; the red light snoozer who flicks me off when my horn politely informs you the light is green, because it’s apparently my fault you’re an idiot. I hate you as a driver, Councilwoman Toles, and I hate that you promise to take a driver-improvement class — as if that will somehow cure your moral malfunction.
Local voters elect crooked officials because taking bribes from developers and grocery store executives is pretty far removed from everyday life — it’s difficult to relate to, or understand white-collar corruption. But everyone drives. Everyone gets speeding tickets, or knows people who do. Everyone understands driving 105 mph at noon on the Beltway is stupid, narcissistic and reckless.
The whole matter has been referred to an executive review panel after understandable citizen outrage, so Toles might eventually face some semblance of legal justice. But Councilwoman — don’t be surprised if you seek reelection in a couple years and voters flip you the bird. I imagine it’s something you’re used to seeing on the road, anyway.
Christopher Haxel is a senior English major. He can be reached at haxel@umdbk.com.