If you pay even the slightest attention to pop culture news, you’ve heard about Charlie Sheen’s recent rampage. If you live under a rock, I’ll try to give a brief summary of his escapades — although he keeps coming up with ways to top his last act, so brevity might be tough.
Sheen was recently fired (surprise!) from his terrible but popular situation “comedy,” Two and a Half Men. There was an uproar about the possibility of the show being canceled after he was fired, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Why was he fired? It could have been the fact that he abused his third wife, Brooke Mueller. Or it could have been the fact that he seems to be a drug addict. Or maybe it’s the constant stream of word vomit coming out of his mouth, including “gems” such as “winning” and “tiger blood.”
The nation continues to eat up this train wreck of a man, waiting for his next tweet or sound bite to emerge. Sheen is still making headlines, right next to serious, important news, such as the catastrophic earthquake and tsunami that rocked Japan this weekend. He’s planning a comedy tour, a book deal and who knows what else. It’s hard to keep up with the fountain of stupidity he and his publicist (his new one, I believe, after his first one resigned) are putting into the public eye.
Last week, I heard there was a budding campaign on Facebook to get Sheen to speak at the spring university-wide commencement ceremony. My eyes were too tired from rolling at that point to roll again, but if they could’ve, they would’ve. Really? Really, Maryland? I know we don’t get the best graduation speakers, but the fact that some of us even want to get Sheen to speak is upsetting. There is nothing that Sheen could say to me, as I sit there in my cap and gown texting my friend in another row, that would make me want to do anything besides punch him in the face.
Now, I know we’re not going to get Sheen to speak at our graduation. I’m not actually concerned with that. I’m concerned with all the attention he is getting and the reasons he is getting it. Right now, Sheen is making Tiger Woods look good. Woods cheated on his wife with almost a dozen women, and he was rightfully shunned by everyone. He lost endorsements left and right and was vilified by both the sporting community and the general population. Sheen is being put on a pedestal for being an all-around asshole.
The entertainment factor of Sheen is lost on me. I didn’t think his TV show was funny. I don’t know how it was on the air for so long to begin with. I don’t think his trademark sound bites are even mildly amusing. I’d rather doze off in the middle of a no-name guest speaker at my graduation than listen to a drug-addicted womanizer tell me how to “win.”
Ellen Linzer is a senior English major. She can be reached at linzer at umdbk dot com.
