Monday is opening day around Major League Baseball, and those who attended the Terrapins baseball team’s Sunday win over High Point were treated to a Washington Nationals tradition with a Maryland spin.

The Nationals’ racing presidents showed up at Bob “Turtle” Smith Stadium for a customary race in a new location, but Testudo crashed the race and beat all of them.

Well, he beat them in the same way Rosie Ruiz won the Boston Marathon. (She only ran the very end of the race and totally cheated.)

Testudo waited for the presidents to get to the home stretch before jumping out of Maryland’s bullpen to deliver knockout blows to Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft. This left only Abe Lincoln and George Washington as viable threats to a possibly unprecedented turtle-beats-humans-in-race scenario. Testudo ran for his life and secured the victory, just barely. Conventional wisdom might lead you to think that the Testudo costume, which is smaller and appears less bulky than the giant presidents’ costumes, would be easier to run in. Well, according to one fan, conventional wisdom is incorrect.

Still, we’ve seen Testudo look far worse.