Senior government and politics and information systems major

It happens every time I go to a bar on Route 1 with my best friend: A (usually attractive) gentleman approaches me, smiles, then gently whispers in my ear, “Would you mind introducing me to your friend?”

I’ll admit, most times I introduce them to my bar companion (she’s thin and “well-endowed,” if you know what I mean). One night, however, I’d had enough — I believe I told the John Cena look-alike to muster up some courage and introduce himself if he was really interested in her.

I had never heard the term “DUFF” before I saw a trailer for a film with the acronym as its title. It stands for “designated ugly fat friend.” The idea is that attractive girls typically befriend a less attractive woman (the DUFF) to make themselves feel better and increase their chances of getting hit on, as comparatively, they are the more attractive option.

I have enough confidence to assume I’m neither ugly nor fat, and I really do believe my friends enjoy my company because of my personality, not my looks, but every once in a while, sadly, I do in fact feel like I’m the DUFF.

Let me be clear: To me, DUFF isn’t just a label one gets when he or she is viewed as the “uglier” friend. I believe being a DUFF is more like a role you play: You’re the third wheel, the friend who just doesn’t have enough luck in the dating scene and who is seen as more approachable — the casual girl who’s viewed as just not quite dateable.

It’s a pretty lonely position to be in, but throughout college, I’ve learned how to overcome being this “middleman” whom guys use to connect them to my more “attractive” friends. To those who feel like they’re in this role, here are some ways to overcome that and realize your true value:

Stand your ground. You want to know what I respect? Having confidence and being independent. If guys ask you to introduce them to your friend, perhaps you should realize that they aren’t worth your or your friend’s time if they can’t even approach someone on their own, not to mention the fact that they have to basically use you as a tool to get what they want.

Learn how to separate yourself from your “group.” I’m not saying you need to build a wedge in the relationship that you have with your current friends, but sometimes it’s nice to branch out and not always be recognized by the group you hang out with.

Change the game. Part of the reason why the DUFF acronym exists is because it mainly assumes women just wait for men to approach us (hence the need for a DUFF to be the “uglier” counterpart). If we stop relying on this idea and believe we’re not afraid to make the first move, maybe the “DUFF” will cease to exist.

I’ll be honest, I usually don’t write columns on such silly topics (like you, I’m worried about important things, such as student debt, unemployment rates and the University of Maryland’s budget). With that said, the DUFF title won’t go away on its own — it takes effort and realizing, cheesily enough, that you are worth more than a silly acronym used to describe your supposed attractiveness compared to your friends, and you deserve more than being the middleman.

Caroline Carlson, opinion editor, is a senior government and politics and information systems major. She can be reached at ccarlsondbk@gmail.com.