Animals
Maroon 5 released its music video for “Animals” in late September, and people are talking. In the past few weeks, some have been bashing the dark song, saying it glorifies stalking. The YouTube video has more than 34 million views, and is still getting almost one million views daily. I decided it was about time I watched this controversial viral video, and I recorded my thoughts.
0:06 — A shot of Adam Levine chopping meat and wearing a hairnet. I would have preferred Levine in a different setting (actually, any other setting), but I guess you can’t always get what you want.
0:12 — Suddenly, a model (Behati Prinsloo, who’s Adam Levine’s wife) approaches the counter and orders some meat! A model in a music video! What a crazy idea!
0:36 — Model lady receives her meat, all wrapped up in white paper. I imagine she’s going home to make a roast and maybe freeze some of it to save it for later. She looks content with her meat. Adam Levine is giving her a look and it’s making me uncomfortable. Levine is still wearing a hairnet, which is also making me uncomfortable.
0:43 — The song has started! Levine is in the rain! Adam! Get out of the rain!
0:50 — A new scene. Levine is strolling in the streets. It’s much sunnier — no more rain. He’s following hot model girl (I’ll just refer to her as “HMG” from now on). I don’t think HMG knows she’s being followed. I’m worried about her; I’m also still wondering what she did with that meat she ordered.
1:14 through 1:18 — Shots of Levine cutting photographs of HMG and analyzing them, looking pensive. Another shot of Levine walking through a meat locker where — wait for it — meat is hanging from the ceiling. We’re barely past minute one and there have already been absurd amounts of raw meat.
1:46 — Levine is taking his shirt off and rubbing what I’m assuming is the blood from the raw meat all over his body. He definitely is violating every health code concerning the distribution of raw meat. HMG is also taking her clothes off, at a different room with no meat.
2:22 — HMG heading to a club. She’s carefree, just hanging with friends — classic HMG.
2:25 — Levine arrives outside the club, meatless.
2:42 — Well, would you look at that. The other members of Maroon 5 are playing at the club! Huey, Dewey, Louie, Sasha and Phoenix (those may or may not be the actual names of the other five members of Maroon 5; it’s fine, though, because they’re pretty irrelevant) are jamming up on stage!
2:53 — Adam meets HMG at the club; his smile reminds me a bit of that creepy cat in Alice In Wonderland.
3:25 — Close your eyes, children.
3:45 — OH. NO.
3:48 — Suddenly, I miss the raw meat and I even sort of miss the hairnet. This naked make-out bloodbath is so much worse.
4:27 through 4:33 — Ending shot of Levine in the rain. He looks like a sad wet towel. I am left with so many questions. Did HMG enjoy her meat? Is Levine getting fired from his job at the meat shop? How much money do the other members of Maroon 5 make compared to Levine?
