#yetiproblems
If you’re anything like me on a winter morning, you awake all curled up in your cocoon of blankets. Your eyes peek over the top of your covers as a finger creeps out to tap the weather app on your iPhone.
Will you need a jacket for the brisk air, or will a lighter fabric handle the mild temperatures we’ve experienced? The day’s weather pops up. What’s that white fluff on the screen? You rub your eyes in disbelief; it can’t be snow! You try to wipe the screen clean; it must be dust. No, it’s snow and you’ve forgotten how to dress appropriately.
The coldest days of the season have fallen on our first days of classes — the few times you actually want to look cute for class. You’re left scrambling for the most stylish, yet sensible outfit. That low-cut shirt simply just won’t do. How should you prepare to brave Old Man Winter’s wrath?
Take one:
There are so many options, it’s hard to choose: boots, sweatpants, sweaters, gloves, scarves earmuffs, coats, parkas, galoshes, the works. You try them all on because you live in this state and freak out at the site of one flake of snow. You’re obviously preparing for another Ice Age.
You look like a yeti and not in the good way. It’s like Randy from A Christmas Story screaming, “I can’t put my arms down!” You’ve squeezed into so many layers your coat can barely button. I take that back. Your buttons pop off and nearly shoot your roommate’s eye out. You may as well have just used Ralphie’s Red Ryder BB gun. You can’t sit next to your cute classmate like this!
Take two:
First, you should take off the galoshes because you’re not Sarah Palin’s Alaskan neighbor. Who needs a parka when you have a warm sweater and stylish pea coat? Take off those gloves, you have pockets! Opt out sweatpants for jeans because no one will see the long johns underneath that are keeping you warm. Top the outfit off with a pair of boots, maybe, with your jeans tucked in. Maybe.
Being stylish means being smart. Being smart doesn’t always mean being stylish. Yes, dressing in a bad combo of every piece of winter clothing you own will keep you toasty walking across the mall. However, you risk scaring your classmates into thinking their last day on earth will be caused by this abominable snowman: you.
Save yourself the trouble and accept the fact that you don’t actually live in sub-zero-degree weather. It’s all right; you can keep warm and still be able to put your arms down.
