We’re pretty sure this isn’t OSHA-approved.

After yet another break for election coverage, New Girl returned this week with one of the most introspective episodes to date.

The episode opens with a typical scene: Schmidt is collecting money from the roommates to pay rent and, yet again, Jess comes up short due to her lack of a job. Schmidt is finally fed up with having to cover for her and threatens to turn off the gas unless she gets a job.

Jess, though, is in a volatile state – it’s that time of the month, so she ends up exploding on the roommates. Schmidt laughs it off, Winston gets a little weepy (more on that later) and Nick, per usual, gets a little angry.

From this point, the roommates’ stories splinter off, as they each attempt to deal with their own issues.

Anger Management

Nick realizes he cannot continually be angry with the roommates, so he takes a walk and ends up on a park bench, letting off steam to a small Asian man who says nothing. After hashing out his problems, Nick realizes that he does indeed have an anger issue, and vows to change it.

He returns to the apartment, which is still being ravaged by PMS tornadoes Jess and Winston. Nick, however, keeps his cool – for a few minutes at least. But all good things must come to an end, including Nick’s cheery mood, and so he returns to the bench.

Nick asks the Asian man to show him the ways of relaxation and ends up following him to a serenity pool, where the two strip. The Asian man then helps Nick practice water therapy by cradling him in a pool. As if things couldn’t get any weirder, the man utters his first words to Nick: “You are a huge baby.”

After his experience, Nick feels incredibly positive, returning to the apartment awash in good vibes. He cheers not only Jess up, but also Winston, and even takes them both to water therapy, hoping to share his happiness.

The Red Devil

It’s that time of the month for Jess, but this time around, she is not only dealing with her period, but also joblessness. Winston too is affected, blaming his emotional feelings on his “sympathy PMS,” an affliction he found on the Internet.

Amidst all this emotional turmoil, Jess attempts to go to a job interview. She is doing well until her potential employer mentions her dog and shows a picture of a tiny puppy in a cup. Jess starts to lose it, crying over this puppy, especially after she hears the dog has died.

Obviously, she doesn’t get the job, so she and Winston mope around the apartment, reveling in their sadness, until, ironically, Nick picks them both up.

Nick first speaks to Jess, attempting to get to the root of the problem. While Jess believes she was “sabotaged by [her] baby box,” Nick knows it is not just that. So he takes her to water therapy, where, after the two struggle around in their bathing suits (too much sexual tension), Nick says something poignant.

“You got knocked down,” he tells Jess. “It’s time to get back up. If you don’t I’m gonna water massage you again.”

And with Nick’s words in mind, Jess goes out and nails an interview the very next day, forcing Schmidt to turn on the gas once more.

For Winston, water therapy comes a bit later in the episode. The roommates find him lying in bed even after Jess’s PMS is cured. He finally admits that his emotional behavior isn’t a result of sympathy PMS, but rather his breakup with Shelby.

Nick, in an attempt to help Winston out, takes him to water therapy, where his reaction is, as expected, sheer confusion.

50 Shades of Schmidt

Schmidt has a new favorite co-worker – the company’s kinky vice president Emma. She isn’t a nice girl, which Schmidt is perfectly okay with.

He tells Cece and Robbie this over dinner, where Robbie explains that Schmidt deserves a nicer girl, one more like Cece. This statement concerns Cece – she isn’t used to being the nice girl.

She later expresses these fears to Schmidt, explaining, “I am afraid Robbie doesn’t get me. Maybe I’m not meant to be in a functional relationship.”

And with that statement, Cece attempts to cheat on Robbie by kissing Schmidt. This, however, is followed by Cece’s realization that Robbie was right – she is a nice girl.

Schmidt, however, refuses to heed Robbie’s ideas, and ends up signing a contract that basically makes him Emma’s sexual plaything, tied up hands and all.

Tidbits:

–“I just stayed at home and painted a watercolor of a mountain.”

–“It’s like my own Judy Blume novel.”

–“You don’t control my heat, Theodore P. Gasbags.”

–Nick is a huge baby and Schmidt is a monster.

–“I feel like I want to murder someone and also I want soft pretzels.”

–Sympathy periods are not real.

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