Zombie Woody Allen. Do I need to say it again? ZOMBIE WOODY ALLEN.

Perhaps the best episodes of New Girl are the ones involving holidays and this year’s Halloween episode did not disappoint. The roommates face their fears when it comes to relationships, realizing that it might not be so scary to be on their own.

Winston and Shelby

After weeks of issues in terms of sex, Winston and Shelby decide to dress sexy for Halloween in hopes of rekindling some of the passion they once felt. Winston, ever classic in his manhood, dresses as a police officer. Shelby, however, in a very Jess-like move, wears a crown and royal-looking robe which has stuffed animals sewn all over it: She’s “reigning cats and dogs.”

Winston is unappreciative and the tension comes to a head in the haunted house, where he asks why they are no longer having sex. The two decide their relationship isn’t working and finally (finally!) break it off.

Schmidt, Robbie and Cece

Schmidt is having a much harder time letting go, in this case of Cece. He opts to dress as a young Abraham Lincoln for Halloween, sure it will take her attention away from Robbie, who she is still dating. In order to get between the two on Halloween, Schmidt invites the pair to the Halloween fair he is attending. Robbie, ever the nice guy, happily agrees to go, despite Cece’s attempts to sway him otherwise.

And so, a young Abraham Lincoln, an angel and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle end up at a fair together. After Schmidt attempts to flirt, per usual, Cece demands that it stops. Robbie does the manly thing and takes Schmidt aside, attempting to talk out their issues.

After several botched attempts at headbutting (on Schmidt’s part of course) the two decide to make amends and be friends. Schmidt even gives up his suit costume so that Cece and Robbie can be a bride and groom, rather than an angel and turtle.

Nick and Amelia

Meanwhile Nick’s college crush Amelia is coming to visit. Nick was always too afraid to tell her how he felt and sees her visit as the perfect opportunity to finally do so. And it works: a few minutes after the two arrive at the apartment, they start kissing.

The romance between the two blooms — until, that is, Nick finds out that Amelia is a lip biter. While hot to some, lip biting is Nick’s turn off, so much so that he realizes Amelia isn’t all that he thought she was.

As Nick struggles with this realization, he finds he needs to tell her that it won’t work out. Amelia is happy and very into Nick — she even carves a pumpkin that features the two and their future pet (a dog) especially for Nick. So Nick puts a stop to it, saying that he fell in love with the idea of her, rather than the actual person she is. He also mentions the lip biting problem, which warrants an unkind response from Amelia.

She speaks poignantly after slapping Nick in the face, saying, “I’m not an idea of a person, I’m an actual person.”

Jess and Sam

Sam, Jess’s sex buddy, returns. After he accidentally leaves his wallet behind in Jess’s room, Jess returns it to him at work. Sam, Jess finds, is a doctor who works with kids, aka Jess’s perfect man.

And so, Jess starts to fall for Sam in ways she didn’t intend. She invites him to the haunted house she is temping at as a zombie Woody Allen and implores him to dress up.

Sam shows up decked out in a clown nose — Jess sees this as an incredibly good sign, so she opts to tell him how she feels. Sam, though, is simply in it for the sex, as he was clear about up front. And so, unfortunately, the two do not work out, as we knew would happen all along.

The punch

Nick, of course, sees the Sam rejection happening from miles away: Sam is texting other girls while Jess, oblivious, is inside the haunted house. Nick tries to warn Jess through text messages, but she, of course, is too busy scaring others to look at her phone.

Thus, Nick must face his fears of haunted houses, for Jess’s sake. Nick’s fight or flight instincts take over once he’s inside the fun house and he punches one of the zombies in the face. That zombie just so happens to be Jess, which leaves Nick racked with guilt for the rest of the episode.

Never fear though, Jess gets her revenge: Nick gives her one unblocked punch and she takes it right as the episode ends.

Tid-Bits:

Best Schmidt Lines:

“Do you know who have a lot of boots? Guys who do it on a reg.”

“You love your legs, cause you know diabetes doesn’t.”

“I may not be Abraham Lincoln, but I witnessed the emancipation of one black guy tonight.”

Headbutting is the worst means of attack, especially against Robbie.

Reigning cats and dogs isn’t a great costume, however, zombie Woody Allen is.

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume, though, is still the coolest.

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