Jess proves to be a terrible model when she fills in for CeCe as “Gigglebangs Ricebowl,” who is famous in Japan.
After breaking last week for the presidential debate, New Girl returned last night with an ode to long-lasting friendships worthy of making Monica Geller and Rachel Green of Friends jealous. The question on everyone’s lips during this episode is, “If we met today, would we still be friends?” And, while friendships are tested during the show, the end proves satisfactory for all involved.
Cece and Jess
It’s Cece’s birthday, and Jess cannot wait to celebrate the way the two have since middle school: A sleepover complete with sweets, a viewing of Clueless and the making of towel prom dresses. Cece, however, has other ideas. Nadia, Cece’s model friend of last season’s “Mick Mouse,” has planned a night out with the other models. Cece begs Jess to go and she agrees despite her distaste for the models.
Decked out in “aspiring dancer turned streetwalker” best, Jess aims to please Cece and her friends and does so by dancing like the monkey from the Russian cracker ad she is said to resemble. However, Jess can only take so much of Nadia chanting “Dance monkey, dance,” and snaps.
She blows up on the models, saying that she is one-eighth Romanian and that she finds their attitudes toward Romanians offensive. Furthermore, she finds the models to be dumb and below Cece. Of course, Cece hears the last bit of Jess’s confrontation, and proceeds to have a little blow up of her own.
Cece pulls Jess aside and explains Jess has embarrassed her in front of her colleagues, and then does the unthinkable – goes in for a boob slap. This, of course, escalates into a bit of a, well, battle of the boob slaps that leaves both women feeling like they fell face forward on a treadmill. Jess escapes the club, leaving Cece with a bottle of vodka to drown out her friendship blues.
The next morning, feeling guilty, Jess comes to Cece’s apartment to apologize, only to find an incredibly hung-over Cece unable to go to her gig with Ford. Jess volunteers to fill in, telling the Ford rep, “I’m famous in Japan. They call me Gigglebangs Ricebowl.”
The poor cover-up leads to an even poorer modeling job by Jess. This, however, leads to reconciliation between Jess and Cece, who are ecstatic to be friends once more.
Nick and Schmidt
Meanwhile, Nick and Schmidt also find their friendship tested – and it all starts with a cookie. Schmidt buys Nick a cookie from his favorite vendor. This itself isn’t bad, but Schmidt pairs it with the statement, “I was thinking about you a lot, bro,” and Nick cannot handle this outpouring of emotion.
He bristles, trying to tell Schmidt that it’s too much emotion for a man to have. He says he regrets eating the cookie, a statement to which Schmidt takes enough offense to stop talking to Nick.
Winston, ever the moderator among the chaos in the house, tells Nick his lack of feelings is not cool. He further tells Nick that he doesn’t realize how much Schmidt cares for him saying, “That wasn’t a cookie, dammit, that was a piece of his heart.”
Nick realizes this is true and attempts to make heads or tails of it. He opts to buy Schmidt a cookie in apology. The two make up and initiate a bro hug that even Winston gets in on.
The Wrap-up
The episode ends with all of the roommates and Cece finally watching Clueless for Cece’s birthday. Jess finally pops the question of whether she thinks the two would be friends if they met today.
Cece, ever poignant, responds, “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.”
Tidbits:
–YOLO sounds better pronounced in a Russian accent.
–“You want to mama-bird me the cookie?”
–Fake eyelashes feel like “chainmail on [your] eyes.”
–There are many different types of turtles, a terrapin being just one of them.
–Ramen noodles are best consumed dry, straight from the package.
–Models go “butt-drinking” on their time off.
–College Schmidt does things right, like trying to catch Poptarts thrown by Nick from across the room.
–Gigglebangs Ricebowl is famous in Japan.
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