Junior economics major
Back in the good ol’ ’90s, I remember hearing stories of childhood best friends my parents had lost touch with over the years. During this magical period of my life, friendships were defined by nights of PlayStation at sleepovers, afternoons of Risk and marathon viewings of Dragon Ball Z. The idea of losing touch with friends was incomprehensible, so when I heard such a falling-out was possible, I was as incredulous as a boy could be.
Fast-forward to today, and the incomprehensible has turned into a terrifying possibility. Moving away from home, mingling with new people or even studying abroad if you’re lucky all make it increasingly difficult to keep tabs on your buds. In a few years (or sooner) ,college will be over, friends may move to different cities and we’ll all settle down in new lives.
On certain occasions, old friends will reunite and relive the glory days. In these precious nostalgia-filled moments, you’ll do your best to recapture the old magic. But chemistry is a function of joint growth and shared experiences, which means if you intend to turn friends into lifelong compadres, you need to recognize the difficulties of long-distance friendships.
For romantic couples, long-distance relationships tend to either crumble beneath the weight of divergent life paths or implode due to temptation. Platonic relationships are less extreme — you can’t “cheat” on each other. Still, without similar experiences keeping you together, you can easily grow disconnected from the daily lives of the people you supposedly care for most. There will come a time when your friends need someone they can confide in. If you ignore their lives for months at a time, they’ll cease to expect anything from you. This isn’t a reflection of your character as much as a consequence of living different lives.
In a way, staying friends across cities and continents goes against human nature; people were never meant to have best friends thousands of miles away. Even with Skype (or Google Hangouts, if you’re pretentious like that), nothing can replace direct human interaction. The best-case scenario is you’ll be equally invested in the joys and concerns of each other, which takes an effort far beyond the occasional Facebook post. It’s the little things: hearing about new flings, rough weekends, strange encounters, family drama or musings on the future. The mundane anecdotes you miss eventually add up to a whole life’s worth of stories.
Accept the trade-off: The more time you spend on Skype, the less time you have for the rest of your life. Personally, I’ve failed in too many long-distance friendships, and, in many ways, it’s why I feel compelled to write this. College provides a pivot point for the rest of your life, as well as what type of company you’ll keep in the future. Foster friendships with people who matter to you.
At some point, your friendships may fade — just like they did for my parents. But if you put in the time, a few special bonds will sustain.
To the friends I’ve let down: I’ll do my best to be better. To the people out there thinking this doesn’t apply to them: Embrace the time you have with the important people in your life. Even if relationships don’t last forever, do your best to defy the odds.
Nadav Karasov is a junior economics major. He can be reached at opinionumdbk@gmail.com.
