If you’ve ever waited in line for 30 minutes to buy mass-produced Chinese food or paid $5 for a cup of fruit at the Union Shop, take a moment to acknowledge how awesome the Maryland Food Co-op is. It’s that colorful, lively store blaring dance-worthy music you bypass to get to Subway on the first floor of Stamp Student Union. Their motto is “food is for people, not for profit.” It’s cheap, delicious, homemade, healthy and yes, some meat is available there. The bagels are about 20 times better and cheaper than the ones available at the North Campus Snack ‘n’ Shop (better known as the Incon), and the falafel deserves an entire paragraph to itself.
So here it goes:
The falafel is freshly made, often warm, inexpensive, crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, and by far, and I mean by far, the best in College Park. And this is coming from College Park’s most monumental fatass — I’ve tried falafel from Ollie’s Grill, Moby Dick, the Union Shop and Plato’s. Let me know if falafel is served anywhere else in College Park, because I’m going to need to try it. If you don’t know what falafel is, shame on you, and I’m not going to tell you because you’ll shun it before trying it. Meat eaters seem to have some sort of deep-seated fear of vegetarians, as if we’re going to pelt them with tofu.
But the point is: Let go of your misconceptions. As a lifelong vegetarian raised by one of those goddamn hippies, I eat tofu once a month, if that. I haven’t dropped dead from lack of protein (or whatever you guys are afraid of), and I’ve got plenty of meat (pun intended?) on my bones. My vegetarianism and runner’s high addiction are the only ways to combat my raging vodka-cranberry intake. Thank God for the Co-op, with its myriad of options and stereotype-shattering meals. I don’t care if you eat a giant steak directly in front of me or host a daily bacon fry-up after smoking a joint (here’s looking at you, kid in my apartment building). If giving up animal abuse and environmental degradation is too much for you, I understand. Just kidding, I still don’t care, I just want you to try the Co-op.
The Co-op and their staff deserve some recognition. They’re plugging along in the basement of Stamp, wearing fearsome outfits and basically hosting a constant dance party you can join whenever you want to buy an organic banana. They have a variety of hot meals, ready-made meals, snacks, coffee, vegetarian-friendly groceries and an epic sandwich line. Vegetarians and vegans aren’t all weirdos, but if the thought of entering the place and leaving with something vegan hurts your masculine sensibilities, hop into the fast-moving sandwich line and slap some meat on your sandwich. Be warned, though: They only take cash. All the better to avoid the customer being ripped off by big credit card companies. Too heavy? Suck it up. There’s nothing more manly than overcoming your fear of the unknown, grabbing a $5 bill, and downing some falafel. Your wallet, your body, the environment and some dude wearing jorts and one dangly earring will thank you.
Bethany Wynn is a senior sociology major. She can be reached at wynn at umdbk dot com.
