People have nothing better to do with their time than watch television. Ever since I got cable, through covert means, my once mind-numbingly boring Friday nights have been filled with hours of meaningless television. And it’s getting worse. As I flip through hundreds of useless television choices, my ear catches just some of the ways humans waste their potentials.
Apparently, 1,000 people in Lake Geneva are attempting the World’s Longest Bunny Hop, which would have to be completed in under five minutes. I flip the channel again, and then I’m reminded that Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi’s speed-eating record of 53 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes will be challenged again July 4th at the World Hotdog Eating Championships in Coney Island, New York. What’s going on? Are we so bored for things to do that we make up inane contests to keep our minds occupied?
Ridiculously scripted shows such as Date My Mom, Next and even the sickening indulgence of My Super Sweet 16 on MTV continue to pull in high ratings. The phenomenon of shows such as Flavor of Love, starring the aesthetically displeasing, washed up rapper Flava Flav of Public Enemy, genuinely surprises me. I admit I sat and watched him prance goofily in front of adoring mediocre-looking women. Unlike other shows, the prize in this reality show was Flava Flav himself. Distraction, a game show hosted by British comedian Jimmy Carr, takes a slight twist, making contestants torture themselves in various ways for prizes that may be destroyed by their fellow competitors at the end of each show.
Unfortunately, there are shows that continue to be aired that should have never made the pilot episode. ABC’s Ultimate Makeover showed candidates who believed plastic surgery was their only ticket to a happy life. While many had at least four different procedures done to their bodies, the message that “ugly isn’t normal” definitely resonates with our image-conscience country. Wife Swap takes two completely different families (read: suburban country-clubbers meet urban blue-collar) and switches their wives, showing both the husbands and children in absolute distress. The worst of the worst – ABC is on a roll here – is Welcome to the Neighborhood, which takes seven very diverse families and makes them compete to live in a beautiful suburban house. The catch: The neighbors decide who lives there. Is there something so awfully wrong that this is actually airing on American television sets? It’s official – television is officially the worst media right now.
I could go on, but the rapid descent of decent television is absolutely stunning, and the high ratings convince producers to propose more garbage television that audiences seem to gobble up. I don’t blame them, but there must be others like me who feel their minds are quickly deteriorating with every click of the remote.
Smart comedies such as The Office, Family Guy and Arrested Development are few and far between, and it’s even harder to find substantial dramas. The most intriguing show I’ve seen yet is Black.White on FX. The Ice Cube-produced program illustrates a white and a black family switching lives by completing daily makeovers to experience life as another ethnic group. While the issue of race in this format is often done for laughs on the big screen, this documentary-style show really helps delve into the prejudices and experiences many still feel in daily interactions.
I love reality TV as much as the next crazy person. But there is a point where it gets out of hand. Remember Fear Factor? American Idol? I’ve about had my fill of “pretty people;” everything from Tara Reid’s documented adventures in Taradise to the Playmates’ homely interactions in Girls Next Door have taken over the airwaves. Television needs to overdose on quality, and not so much on “reality,” before former fans such as myself will soon turn the idiot box completely off.
Athina Tesfa-Yohannes is a sophomore government and politics major. She can be reached at atesfayo@umd.edu.
