One of my proudest achievements during the past four years has been being able to take a nap. It used to be that once I was up, I was up for good, like the Viagra stand in a senior citizen community. (Speaking of brilliant product placement, I must congratulate not only our fantastic women’s basketball team, but coach Brenda Frese for referring to the championship as “The Natty,” thereby locking up a beer sponsorship for next season. I wonder if I can score some sort of beer endorsement for this column … ).

Nowadays, if I lay down for a bit, I have a better chance of falling asleep than rolling around frustrated. A nap is not only relaxing, but extremely refreshing. When I wake up from one, I always feel I can take on the world – or at least hit the snooze button.

Of course, if I got enough rest at night, I would not need naps. I started reading a story recently about how Americans are not getting enough sleep, but I closed my eyes halfway through. The point of the story, as far as I could tell, was newsprint does not wash easily off your face.

My problem with sleep is I can never fall asleep early enough. I realize “bedtime” is a relative term for college students, but I aim for midnight, right after I’m fed, changed and burped. But no matter how hard I try, I inevitably go to sleep close to an hour later.

The main reason for my procrastination is Instant Messenger. Usually, I’m only online in the evenings, though once in a BLUE MOON, you can find me online during the day, which IS always GREAT. This means I have to cram all my conversations into a few hours. By the time I get through the usual pleasantries with six or seven people, I’m ready to sign off and go to sleep. Sometimes I cannot find an appropriate break in the conversation to excuse myself, leading to awkward exchanges such as this:

Other person: One of these wires will prevent the bomb from detonating! Should I cut the red one or the blue one?!?

Me: Speaking of wires, I’m going to go to bed. Have a lovely night 😉

If all goes according to plan, I will wake up the next morning ready to face the day. But if, oh, I don’t know, someone heartlessly robs me of an hour of sack time, I will probably wake up a little cranky.

That’s right, daylight saving time, I am talking about you. I know in the long run, you are good for me, what with all the extra sunlight you provide, but that first weekend, you are so cruel. Who gave you the right to suddenly turn 2 a.m. into 3 a.m. without consulting college students who need that extra hour to recover from the previous three hours? I ran a sleep deficit all last week because of you, daylight saving time, and there is only one way you can make amends: Buy me a REFRESHING BLUE MOON.

Lost hour of sleep or not, many students walk around the campus like zombies. This often leads to an in-class dance routine I’ll call the Twitching Pendulum. It happens when a person sits in his chair and dozes off, head rocking slowly around until it reaches the farthest distance in its orbit, at which point it jerks back in place. Often the twitch is so violent the sleeper will wake up abruptly, discombobulated.

I do not know what happens next because that is the moment I quickly look away. Much like the sun or a Lifetime made-for-television movie, it is best not to stare directly at the Twitching Pendulum. Besides, we’ve all been there before, way past tired and just wanting to rest our eyes for a minute – we swear.

But you know what? Seven times out of 10, I would gladly endure the Twitching Pendulum because the night before was worth it, whether it was a great evening out or just hanging in with friends. The memories made are much more precious than sleep.

Speaking of wires, it looks like I have run out of space. Have a LOVELY BLUE MOON 😉

(Dear Makers of Blue Moon: I’ll accept my endorsement payments in six-packs, thanks.)

Danny Jacobs is a responsibly drinking senior journalism major. He can be reached at jacobs@umd.edu.