Paris Hilton: Model, actress, club promoter, hotel heiress. Is there any entertainment undertaking this wonder woman can’t do? As a matter of fact, yes.
However, after purchasing her new album, it will become painstakingly obvious that Ms. Hilton should stick to home videos and gallivanting in L.A.
The first track is appropriately titled “Turn It Up” for it consits of Paris Hilton saying “turn it up” thirty-three times in the course of the 3 minute and 14 second song.
Paris filmed two videos for her faux-reggae first single, dramatically titled “Stars Are Blind.” One version blatantly rips off Chris Isaak’s video for “Wicked Games.” Her reason for filming two versions? AOL reports it was because “Chris Isaak asked for his video back.” Whatever the case, they both display a lack of presence that has always been a problem for Ms. Hilton.
The next song remotely worthy of mention is “Jealousy.” The song begins with a completely unnecessary string section and awkwardly segways into a synth line following the melody. Clearly aimed at one-time best friend, Nichole Richie, the song proceeds to make such snide remarks as “Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy/ it’s such an evil thing to watch someone like you.”
The break down of the song has a distraught Paris saying, “I only wanted what was best for you…I did because I cared/so how did all the good between us turn so bad? Maybe someday we’ll get back what we had.” Or at least that’s what I believe she said – its the only part of the cd where you can’t hear her vocals over everything else.
“Heartbeat” is a track that could’ve been easily been found on any cd by a female singer in the late ’80s. I must admit this song is remotely catchy, but Hilton’s voice shows no range and even less emotion making it hard to get caught up in the song.
“Turn you on” is a very large industrial techno song fronted by Hilton’s voice mixed in such a fashion that it feels as if the song stress is dancing around you.
The best song on the album is undeniably “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy.” If this title sounds familiar, you are quite the Rod Stewart fan. Hilton covers this funky song horribly, yet in some small way she makes it fun.
The final track on this 38 minute album is a horrible collaboration with Fat Joe and Jadakiss. This song is really not worth mentioning other than the fact that Fat Joe and Jadakiss are one it.
This album lacks many things, but most importantly it lacks emotion. I’ve never heard such an apathetic voice put to music; however, it will not surprise me one bit if this album sells close to 1 million copies. It also won’t surprise me if it sells no more then the one I purchased, but I doubt the latter will occur. The reason why Paris Hilton made an album is not because she has talent, but because she is Paris Hilton. Why wouldn’t she make an album? Maybe not wonder woman, but Paris Hilton definitely knows what she’s doing.
