Movie writers are a dime a dozen these days, but after last year’s box-office flop, Fall 2005 at Maryland: The Movie, the Lite Fare staff is considering moving to Hollywood (Maryland). The possible change of scenery had Lite Fare thinking: What makes College Park great? After deliberating for hours, writers came up with the next hit in John Landis’ American Werewolf series more frightening than before…
A Maryland Terrapin in College Park
Rated R for violence. Lots and lots of violence. In fact, representatives of the Motion Picture Association of America lists 38 extremely violent instances that almost pushed the film to the NC-17 rating.
Genre: Horror / Suspense / Drama / Horror / Comedy / Horror
Tagline: The Diamondback’s most charming section, the Lite Fare, brings you the scary realities of what it’s really like to live on the most violent campus in the nation.
Plot Outline: Maryland’s newest higher education hero, Jim Rosapepe, teams up with university President Dan Mote in the biggest movie event of the fall. Our story opens in 2009, with a circular shot of Mote relaxing in his newly furnished luxury box above Chevy Chase Bank Field. The Maryland Terrapins football squad, the newest team to join Division I-AA’s MEAC conference, is being trounced by rival Bethune-Cookman, 70-3. With his face buried in hands, Mote gets a message from Chief of Staff Ann Wylie: Students have stormed Route 1 to riot after the Maryland chess team won the national championship – this spells trouble. Students, now stranded in golf bunker-sized potholes on Route 1, are now sitting ducks for city criminals. Can Mote and Rosapepe find more extensive measures to prevent another student shooting other than putting up cameras? Will the city wish they had invested in a city police force, or will apathy toward student safety continue? Can University Police repair their Segways, or will their anti-crime efforts be unexpectedly put in reverse when they are bored enough to bother innocently drinking minors? An all-star cast headlines the biggest suspense thriller this campus has ever seen, sure to please slasher and war movie enthusiasts alike. Sneak previews will be shown on the Chevy Chase Bank Screen at Maryland movie theater, formally known as McKeldin Library.
Cast:
Harrison Ford ……………………………………… President Dan Mote
Dennis Haskins ……………………………………… Jim Rosapepe
The Kool-Aid Man ………………………………… Ralph Friedgen
Leonardo di Caprio ……………………………….. 2009 SGA President Greg Bullworth
Martina Navratilova ……………………………….. President Hillary Clinton
Tom Cruise …………………………………………. Former Sen. John Giannetti
Lonny Baxter ……………………………………….. Gang leader
Maurice Clarett ……………………………………… Rival gang leader
Gwenyth Paltrow …………………………………… Ann Wylie
