Sexuality is in the eye of the beholder, which is pretty important when the beholder holds the remote control. Believe it or not, there’s a lot of art and finesse to nailing (ahem) the perfect sex scene. Good Hollywood sex, more so than pornography, becomes the irrational, glossy basis for all our adolescent misconceptions in the bedroom (or bathroom, car or back alley). On-screen seduction has come a long way – from the implied sexuality of a burning cigarette in the 1940s to the sexual freedom of the ’70s’ American New Wave, we’ve come a long way, baby.
zherrm@umd.edu
THREE BEST
Wild Things
When it comes to trashy, our sex scene list would not be complete without Matt Dillon’s motel room three-way with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards. Champagne, anyone?
A Clockwork Orange
Malcolm McDowell does actually have some consensual sex in the film – and it’s fantastic. Ready your slow-motion control for the bedroom three-way set to “Flight of the Bumblebee.”
Desperado
Salma Hayek gets naked in Desperado – really naked. So what are you doing still reading this?
THREE WORST
The Dreamers
Eva Green is absolutely beautiful. But in our humble opinion, any sex scene ending in vaginal blood (with your brother watching) is automatically not hot.
Last Tango in Paris
Question: Why would Marlon Brando ask Maria Schneider to clip her fingernails? Answer: The better to safely penetrate his asshole with, of course!
Eyes Wide Shut
If Stanley Kubrick intended the sex to look awkward between real-life (at the time) married couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, he succeeded.
