It took Sarah Tincher 19 years to seek help for her depression — but before she began helping herself, she was already creating an online community to help other students with similar disorders.
The sophomore journalism major is the creator of TerpSecret, a WordPress blog where users can anonymously post their deepest secrets and fears. She created the site — an offshoot of PostSecret, the popular series where people mail in secrets anonymously — in July, while deep in the midst of her own depression and anxiety.
At the time, Tincher was just looking for a way to help herself get through each day; posting her feelings seemed to help, at least a little. But in the seven months since she started the site, more than 700 university students have subscribed. Just like Tincher, hundreds have used the site as a similar tool for managing mental health, and Tincher herself finally sought treatment for disorders she said she’s had since she was a child.
Until now, Tincher has never told the site’s followers she’s the one spending dozens of hours a week reading and reposting anonymous messages. But the girl with all the secrets has decided to come forward, in hopes that others will realize how common mental health disorders are.
“I have secrets and I have problems just like everyone else, so I started it as a way for me to share my problems anonymously, and I know other people can relate,” Tincher said. “Seeing people that have the same secrets as you makes you feel a lot less alone and like you’re not isolated.”
After Tincher launched the site and began posting about her own difficulties, secrets poured in.
“It has taken every ounce of the strength I can still muster up to keep myself from completely turning to drugs,” one post reads. “I know it won’t actually help, and I have to tell myself that constantly to keep it together.”
“If it weren’t for knowing how it would hurt my parents, I likely would have already committed suicide,” another user posted.
It’s not easy reading those posts, Tincher said, but she takes comfort in knowing her words of encouragement may give posters the strength to make it through another day.
“It does [take a toll on me] sometimes, the fact that people confide in me with things like depression and suicide,” she said. “Whenever I see [those posts], most of the time they’re completely anonymous, and sometimes I really wish I could help them because I’ve been there.”
Anxiety and depression have been with Tincher since she was four years old, she said. She suffered from her first severe panic attack in high school while at work and couldn’t determine what brought it on.
“I didn’t know what was wrong with me,” Tincher said. “I was scared to death it was going to happen again, and it was getting worse because I had no idea what was happening to me.”
As she got older, anxiety led to depression, she said. She first visited a psychiatrist in August.
“Most of the time with depression and anxiety, you don’t know what’s wrong,” Tincher said. “Talking about it is really hard because there are things you don’t want to talk about.”
Health professionals said although the most effective way to treat mental health disorders is to seek professional help, having a forum to begin discussing problems can be an effective first step in treating these disorders — as long as users aren’t posting harmful treatment methods.
“Having those connections, feeling less alone and feeling like someone understands them can make a world of difference; so in that way [the site] is possibly a good thing,” said University Health Center Coordinator Julie Parsons, who provides psychotherapy to students.
Tincher hasn’t always been open about her depression, but lately, her friends said they have seen the site help her as much as it’s helped its subscribers.
“This year’s been really rough for Sarah, and I think it helps her by showing she’s not the only person that has bad days,” said Lindsey Irvine, a sophomore communication major. “It feels good when you have had success with something, so she should feel really proud of herself.”
Tincher said giving up her anonymity on the site is worth it, if it helps more people in the end.
“I am a real person and there is somebody behind all this, and I wasn’t keeping anonymity to try and hide who I am,” she said. “I’m doing it to help people.”
abutaleb@umdbk.com
