I dropped the F-bomb pretty loudly. Out of habit, I immediately looked around to see who I had offended. I would have disregarded this habit as simply a consideration of respect, a check to see whether I had seriously offended someone. However, I couldn’t disregard it as such because I did not check for offended looks or disgusted scoffs. I checked for women – namely the grandmother type, but really just women in general.

Checking for these women, I caught the eye of one close to my age. She knew why I had been looking around as well. She smiled slightly, then gave me an undeniably and specifically irreverent expression, as if to say, “Listen buddy, if you apologize because you think I am too meek to handle hearing cuss words, I will f— you up!”

OK, maybe it’s not exactly what she was thinking, but it’s probably not too far off. Women are in the work force, are fully competent members of society and can handle hearing vulgarities just as thoroughly as men can.

However, somewhere along the line, I was told I was not supposed to cuss in front of girls. No other explanation was given as to why the acceptability of my cussing was based on the gender of those around me. From there, I came to my own understanding of this rule, thus linking my understanding of why I shouldn’t cuss in front of girls to many other stereotypes and restrictions that are placed on women in our society.

After cussing, there is no point in glancing around to check only for insulted women. There is nothing that predetermines women to be more offended by vulgarity. Women cuss just as often as men do. I bring this up because it points to a larger problem within our society and culture. As men, we refuse to let go of our egotistical declarations of strength and authority. We refuse to acknowledge the competence and strength of women.

Checking for female listeners after cussing points to the belief that women are inferior to men in mental capacity and emotional stability, neither of which is true. I am not saying that we should all walk around blurting out cuss words with no appreciation for respect or decency. I am simply using this example to illustrate just how far our discrimination and idealized belittling of women goes.

In all parts of society, the dominant image is that of women as the meeker, more dependent and vulnerable gender. It is not just part of our daily life but helps to shape our daily life. Many of our interactions are based on gender stereotypes and misconceptions.

Progress will only come when people begin to understand that gender, race, sexual orientation or cultural and religious background does not change a person’s ability to function at the same level as everyone else. Covertly cussing is not the only social habit which disregards women’s intellect and rationality, her competence and equality. Men hold doors, put the toilet seat down and constantly refer to the mantra “ladies first.”

Is there anything wrong with these actions? They are polite, right?

It depends on how the man is looking at the situation. Men should not hold doors and wait for women because they are weaker, meeker or incompetent. Men should hold doors for women because they are strong, intelligent and competent. This doesn’t have to seem contradictory. As men, we should respect women as our mothers and sisters, as individuals responsible for a large part of the good in the world and as people deserving our respect.

Holding a door for a woman is not about being the strong man. It is about respecting the strong woman. Guys, we have a long way to go in this country before this equality of consideration is achieved. Don’t start yelling cuss words at girls in the bar, and don’t refrain from holding doors and putting down toilet seats. Take a different stance on being a polite bachelor.

Kevin Rector is a sophomore letters and sciences major. He can be reached at krector@umd.edu.