Senior accounting and finance major
For the first 18 years of my life, I didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. This wasn’t a big ethical stand, it was simply because to me there was no holiday to celebrate. I grew up in the Orthodox Jewish world, in which Valentine’s Day, like most other Christian holidays, was strictly taboo. My girlfriend throughout high school very explicitly forbade me from doing anything for Valentine’s Day — it conflicted uncomfortably with her faith. This never bothered me, really; high school me always took every chance to be a terrible boyfriend.
When I entered college, though, I thought this would change. I thought here, in the real world, people would care about this important part of American culture. I was excited for the boxes of chocolates, the flowers, the whole shebang. And many people did care — campus is brimming with Valentine’s Day excitement, especially this year when it comes on a Friday. However, I found just as many people seemed to dislike the holiday. Granted, most of these people were single and had no way to celebrate. But many others just didn’t enjoy the whole Valentine’s Day culture.
As someone with a firm belief in the power of love and the desire to do nice things for the people who are important to me, I found this idea shocking. Why wouldn’t people want to join in this grand, beautiful celebration of love? Who, given the chance, wouldn’t make the most of this incredible opportunity to do something nice for their nice someone?
More and more, however, I’ve come to understand this perspective. Valentine’s Day has plenty of issues: commercialism, an excess of public displays of affection and the glut of terrible holiday-themed goods, to name a few. There is also the absurdity of a day in which romantic relationships are glorified at the expense of platonic relationships, and people who either aren’t in or don’t want romantic relationships are mocked, pitied and generally socially stigmatized to the point that some are traumatized by the holiday as a whole. These are issues with Valentine’s culture, though. I have an issue with Valentine’s Day as an entity in itself.
I’m a hopeless romantic. I genuinely love the idea of a day when romance and love are celebrated. But there’s no reason for this day to be Feb. 14. The entire world doesn’t need to celebrate love on the same day. In my experience, the best celebrations of love are specific to the people involved. Whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary or just a “random day to celebrate us,” these special individualized days are the most amazing experiences people in a relationship — romantic or otherwise — can have. These days serve the same purpose as Valentine’s Day — they let you pour all of your emotional investment into someone in the form of cheesy gifts and excessive adventures — but they do so in a sweet, personal way that actually means something to the people involved. They’re special days, not just holidays.
So, four years out of the Orthodox Jewish world, I still don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and I don’t think I ever will. Planning a special day — especially a surprise special day — is way too much fun for me to ever want to outsource romantic creativity to a generic overblown holiday. So instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day, I’m just going to have a normal Friday night with my friends and loved ones — the same way I’d spend every Friday night. We’ll have our special day for love on our own terms.
Ezra Fishman is a senior accounting and finance major. He can be reached at efishmandbk@gmail.com.
