A viral video cast Hobbit characters as passengers during a safety explanation on an Air New Zealand flight.
“Welcome aboard this Air Middle-earth flight,” intones a chipper Air New Zealand flight attendant in the YouTube video playing on my screen. Air New Zealand may not be the first airline to paint garish sponsorship crap on their airplanes, but they’ve certainly picked the most high-profile thing. My mouse automatically hovers over the dislike button.
By now, you’ve probably seen “An Unexpected Briefing #airnzhobbit” and that new Air New Zealand Middle-earth livery. And, if you’re anything like me, the viral video and all that Hobbit-mania in New Zealand has probably deterred you from visiting that otherwise lovely country.
So, no, Air New Zealand, that quirky and slightly creepy safety video did not warm my cold, Grinch-like heart; quite the opposite, in fact.
I agree New Zealand has every right to be proud of Peter Jackson’s series of films. The movies represent massive accomplishments, both creatively and logistically, that speak to the versatility of the New Zealand film industry and paint the nation’s scenery in a very flattering light.
But buying the right to call the airline the official “Airline of Middle-earth” is a step too far. Even from a business standpoint, it presents multiple potentially undesirable outcomes.
What if, for instance, The Hobbit trilogy turns out to be … bad? I know the Lord of the Rings trilogy was great, but the films Jackson has made since then (King Kong, The Lovely Bones) have not been up to those standards.
It’d be an embarrassing scenario for all parties involved. Air New Zealand probably wouldn’t want to paint over all their airplanes again out of respect for both Jackson and their accountants, and we’d have to live with airplanes advertising some crappy movie clogging the airports of the world.
Also, there are people who don’t like Tolkien’s books and Jackson’s films in the first place. What about those people, Air New Zealand? The bourbon-swilling, peacock-eating pretentious arch-film critics of the world? I’m pretty sure they’re going to be alienated by all those airplanes you’ve smeared with Middle-earth tribal paint.
In a broader sense, though, the Air New Zealand shenanigans smack of a certain desperation. Flag-carrying aircraft tend to be either understated or representative of a country’s cultural heritage. Putting advertisements for a blockbuster on a national airline, however, is not classy, and implies negative things about the richness of New Zealand’s culture.
I’d hate to end on such a downer, so, in the spirit of Christmas and giving, here are some ideas (free of charge) for the New Zealand Tourism Board:
· Genetically engineer an advanced race of hobbits to sell as interactive Chia Pet-style toys
· Convince Jackson to insert subliminal advertisement into The Hobbit films
· Build Jurassic Park in New Zealand
· Pay Steven Spielberg to make a live-action Land Before Time set in Pangaea-era New Zealand (almost as good as real New Zealand)
· Digitally edit classic Disney movies so they take place in New Zealand
· Paint Richard Simmons onto your planes
You’re welcome, New Zealand.
