A wise man once said, “Don’t stop ’til you get enough.” Nearly 30 years later, Michael Jackson may no longer be so wise, but we sure as hell loved Off the Wall, and we definitely haven’t gotten enough of his monster follow-up, Thriller. And why not? Jackson’s masterpiece is still music’s Holy Grail, arguably the best pop album ever released (at least, it’s the best-selling album ever, with about 104 million copies sold worldwide) and the crown jewel of a career now mired in infamy.

But for just a little while, forget all that – forget the bankruptcies and the creepiness of Neverland and the weird friendship with Macaulay Culkin and the countless sexual abuse suits from families who let their children visit the previously mentioned Neverland and the 50-foot robot of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, blah, blah, blah – and just remember that once upon a time, when most of us weren’t even born, Jackson was a certified music genius.

After buoying the Jackson Five to success in the ’70s but falling prey to Motown’s iron will, Jackson decided to break out on his own, met up with producer Quincy Jones and created some awesomely beautiful music. First came the disco-bucking Off the Wall, then Thriller – an album that broke MTV’s racial barriers, redefined pop and made Jackson the center of the universe.

Revisiting the album with Thriller 25 is like a stupendous gift from the past – Jackson’s songs still make an impact now, from the delightfully danceable “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin'” (recognize that “ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa” part? Yeah, Rihanna sampled it on “Don’t Stop the Music”), the groove-a-licious ballad “Baby Be Mine” and “The Girl Is Mine” with Paul McCartney (that crappy “The Boy Is Mine” duet between Monica and Brandy in the mid-’90s was such an embarrassing imitation).

Obviously, though, the best tracks on Thriller are the ones that shook up the listening world and made it completely reassess its every notion about pop music: “Billie Jean,” “Beat It” and “Thriller.” So it’s unfortunate, then, that Thriller 25’s versions of the first two songs are a hot mess. Guest appearances from artists such as will.i.am and Fergie drag down some of MJ’s best material, and even Kanye West and Akon can’t make near-perfect songs any better than they originally were.

Let’s begin with “Billie Jean.” The second single off of Thriller, “Billie Jean” was one slinky, funky, desperate cry for honesty – a plea by MJ to all the demented female fans who just wouldn’t leave him alone. The intro, a near 30-second invention of steady drums and bass, was what MJ called “smelly jelly” (the kind of music that made him want to dance), and when combined with the haunting nature of the song itself, “Billie Jean” was one sure hit. So why get rid of the song’s intro and add a few lyrics from Kanye instead? Nothing can live up to the smelly jelly, and without it, “Billie Jean” feels disjointed and incomplete.

A similar butchery occurs on “Beat It,” which was originally a slice of ’80s bliss with guitar god Eddie Van Halen and Jackson together on one track. But “Beat It 2008” is just an excuse for Fergie to exercise her adept screaming skills; further embarrassment is caused when a synthed-out intro is used instead of Van Halen’s bitchin’ guitar line.

The only positive collaboration to come from this whole thing is “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ 2008,” with help from Akon. Akon delivers the first few scandalous lines himself (“We end up going back to her place/ Wish I could tell you what I saw/ The sexiest woman in a negligee/ We hit it off until the morning”) and then slows the song down considerably, even giving it a ballad-like quality that works (as all of Akon’s ballads generally do).

Maybe it was a good thing for MJ to steer clear of re-recording the songs for Thriller 25 (all the collaborations layer the guest artist’s vocals with Jackson’s already recorded songs), because it’s pretty damn hard to improve upon perfection. Thankfully, no one messed with “Thriller” itself – who could they have gotten to replace Vincent Price? No one nearly as cool, that’s who – and let that be a lesson. Way back in 1984, The New York Times called MJ “a musical phenomenon … In the world of pop music, there is Michael Jackson, and there is everybody else.” That proclamation still stands true 25 years later – and Thriller 25’s hits (the originals) and misses (the remakes) prove it.

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RATING: 5 STARS OUT OF 5 FOR THE ORIGINAL SONGS

RATING: 2 STARS OUT OF 5 FOR THE NEW SONGS