I’ve never really thought frat boys were all that smart. You’ve seen them, strutting into class, hats cocked to the side and the same universally dumb smirk on their bronzed faces. I have always hated these boys. But despite all the stereotypes, I have to admit these dudes are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Sure, they only take classes if they have the old tests in their chapter rooms, and they think WebCT is a bar, but they have been working long and hard on an invention so clever, I just have to tell you about it: The Away Weekend.
When I first heard of this concept, I was intrigued. Whatever happened to a formal or a date party? Isn’t three or four hours long enough for a date? Then it dawned on me.
These boys want to get laid. The old idea of taking a girl to a formal just doesn’t offer the same guarantee of “getting busy” the way the away weekend does. You take a girl to a hotel for a formal, and a bus will bring you back to College Park. But then the frat boy has to actually devise a strategy to get his lady back to his dirty, disgusting house.
This takes way too much work for a drunken fratty, and frankly the whole “let’s watch a movie” at 4 a.m. plan is just too obvious. So, after several unsuccessful date parties where frat boys went home alone, they got together in their secret chapter rooms and erected a plan to get themselves laid all weekend long. And thus, the away weekend concept was born.
Much like any new idea, the concept needed a pitch, something that would get girls to buy into this new plan. “Well, we can still have a formal,” thought the smartest frat boy, “and that way the girls will get to dress up and do their hair, and we will pay for it all.” All the other frat boys nodded their heads in agreement, and the Away Weekend strategy was complete.
The whole idea of a weekend-long date is interesting. I thought the only bag you needed for a date was a small clutch, but now it seems girls are packing suitcases and several pairs of shoes. What the hell is going on? How do guys pull this one off?
What I really find interesting is that girls have bought into these shenanigans and agreed to go “as friends” even though they know they will be sharing a bed with the guy. What kind of respectable guy invites a girl on a date with the catch that she is required to share sleeping quarters with him in a hotel? Of course every guy probably wants that, but it’s a rare few who make it a condition of the date. Granted, some guys take their girlfriends to these little rendezvous, in which case the assumption that you will share a bed is not really a big deal. But what about the guy who you casually know from Cornerstone and the occasional instant message conversation?
It may seem flattering that he wants to take you away for three whole days, but think again, girls. I’m telling you, this guy just wants to sleep with you, and by going on this extended date, you’re probably going to hook up with him.
There is a reason why these rendezvous are so long. Aside from the fact that the destination is hours away, the boys want to use the first night as a dress rehearsal. If they come on too strong or say something out of line, there’s still another night left for them to redeem themselves and work that frat-tastic magic.
If you haven’t been asked to go away on one of these weekends, don’t worry. You’re probably a classy girl, and these guys know it takes more than just a few shots and a phony compliment to win you over. For those of you who’ve been all over the map with the Away Weekends, it’s probably not because you’re good at playing the license plate game on the interstate highway. Chances are the guy who asked you just wants an on-site booty call.
Tasha Blount is a senior communications major. She can be reached at natashablount@hotmail.com.
