Views expressed in opinion columns are the author’s own.

Everyone has had days when they weren’t feeling themselves. Recently, perhaps from mounting midterm stress, my terrible inadequacy at dressing for the weather or the distinct lack of cheap iced coffee in my hand, I have not been feeling myself. It isn’t an overwhelming sadness. But it is enough discomfort for me to text my best friend. Nothing could have made me feel better than the response I got:

“we could do a ben & jerrys night and watch a bill murray movie :)”

We all have friends like that: glorious, effervescent people who seem to say or do the right thing when we really need it. But sometimes, we have to be that for ourselves. As much as that text made me feel loved, there will be times when the only one who can help me is myself. And that’s where self-care comes into play.

Self-care refers to activities we participate in on a regular basis that “reduce stress and maintain and enhance our short- and longer-term health and well-being,” according to SUNY Buffalo’s social work school.

That’s a broad definition. The day after the 2016 presidential election, the internet was flooded with articles from concerned writers advocating self-care in a time that shook much of the nation. While this initiative toward mindfulness was necessary in light of the circumstances, the drive shouldn’t stop there.

Many of us engage in self-care unintentionally. In middle school, when I was feeling down, I would put on a full face of makeup. I don’t know why I did it. I never wore it out of the house. Even now, if I need a boost before an interview or a presentation, I put on lip gloss. I typically never wear lip gloss, but sometimes we can’t explain the things that make us feel a little bit better.

We can’t wave a magic wand and make ourselves feel optimistic about a class we’re sure we’ll fail. We can’t force ourselves feel less lonely or afraid. We can’t just force our feelings to change. But we can be our own best friends.

Here are some parameters I’ve come up with for modes of self-care:

• Start small. If getting out of bed is all you can do, then do that. If you can motivate yourself to sit at your desk and work, it’s a start.

• Catharsis in the form of punching a wall or screaming into a pillow doesn’t actually release anything. Go a different route.

• Self-care could easily be mixed up with laziness. The difference is you. If you’re watching Netflix because you just don’t want to start your work even though it’s due tomorrow, that’s not good for you in the long run. Proper self-care would suggest you get off Netflix. But if that same work is making your head spin and making you feel defeated for whatever reason, then maybe in that moment, it’s better for you to take a mental break and allow yourself a moment so you can start fresh.

• Social interaction has a complicated relationship with self-care. Sometimes you need to talk to your friends. Do it. Reach out. They’re your support system, they want to be there for you. On the other hand, if all your friends are going out one night and the idea of doing so makes you exhausted or overwhelmed, it’s also okay to stay in. FOMO is bad, but so is feeling suffocated. Tailor your night to be the best for you.

• Therapists often help because they are unbiased sources of input. Cheaper options include the University of Maryland Help Center or mental health hotlines.

• It helps to keep track of the things that never fail to make you happy. For me, it’s Bill Murray movies. For my mother, it’s a stack of brand new copper pennies that she keeps on her desk and replaces each year. I don’t know what it is for you, but if you’re conscious of it, you can use it to your advantage when you need a boost.

• Any other self-care article will recommend moderate exercise and a healthy diet. Of course this is good advice, but in the case that you don’t completely follow it through, you can still forgive yourself. You couldn’t make to the gym today. That’s okay. You couldn’t make it to the gym for the past month. That’s okay, too. It really is.

• Self-care principles dictate that you have to make sure you’re okay before worrying about external factors, but sometimes those factors can make you feel the best. I feel best about myself in the instances I get a cookie for my roommate for no reason or I help someone with their paper. Small, kind gestures can make you feel incredibly worthy.

Self-care is important. Take care of yourselves.

Erin Hill is a freshman psychology major. She can be reached at erin.mckendry.hill@gmail.com.