Junior classical languages and literatures and history major

Not long ago, there were, as there always are, a group of experts on the Today show talking about hookup culture on college campuses. Both the relationship counselor and the psychiatrist agreed students these days are actually ready for real, long-term relationships despite the perceived increase in students just hooking up. They also posited this was not evident on campuses because students have no way to express this desire to others — so they default to the cultural hookup.

At first, I was thrilled. I am a student who feels like the hookup culture dominates and, subsequently, I am unable to find anyone interested in at least considering long-term dating. There are certainly people enjoying long-term relationships within the university community right now, so the well-educated guests on the show seemed to be on to something.

But then I saw the Quidditch team. Suddenly, there on the mall was a group of people with similar interests openly doing what they desired. How could it be, then, that the single men and women of College Park hadn’t banded together to do something similar? The rule seems to be that if there’s interest, there’s a club for that. Yet no “singles club” exists.

Then comes the issue of college itself. Here you have thousands of young adults, many of them unsure of what they want to do with their lives, who are constantly surrounded by others and are experiencing the throes of independence likely for the first time.

Also, there is too much to choose from in terms of activity: countless majors and minors, even more clubs and thousands of people to hang out with. The very nature of college seems to praise indecision and experimentation. By no means is this a bad thing, but it certainly destroys the idea that this environment could breed stable relationships.

It’s important to look at the nature of an individual ready for commitment. It takes someone who can be alone and happy with himself or herself to love another person adequately. This is essential, as being alone is necessary for personal growth and professional development. Dr. Seuss said it best: “All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot!”

Now, learning to be alone is a great thing. But there’s always a group of people who know how to be alone and thrive under that condition. How are they supposed to find one another? If they can be alone, they probably fill up their schedules with the idea that they’ll be by themselves. Once their schedules are full, going out becomes rare, and going through the exhausting ritual of dating is the last concern on their minds. So they go home, and the cycle continues until fate gives them random meet-in-a-coffee-shop moments.

Yes, many college students are in stable, long-term relationships. I’m not saying these two things are mutually exclusive. I am saying, from my college experiences, that this magical land of commitment-ready partners does not — and, in fact, cannot — exist in the college setting. We should most certainly enjoy our youth and do what is best for us, but that necessarily means the committed minority will have to tough it out a little longer.

But that’s okay. We’re used to it. In the meantime, I’ll go enjoy my long walks on the beach, green tea and T.C. Boyle novels. And perhaps adopt a cat.

Erik Shell is a sophomore classical languages and literatures and history major. He can be reached at erik1434@gmail.com.