For the past several weeks, anticipation over who would be headlining Art Attack has had been growing. After all, Art Attack is the biggest concert held annually at the university and is dirt cheap for students to go attend, costing only $5 with a student ID. Weezer and Ben Folds performed last year, so this year would get better, right?
Before I tell you my true feelings (that is, if you haven’t guessed them already), let me take you back to April 1, the day I read on the front page of The Diamondback that Rebecca Black was headlining Art Attack. After getting over the initial shock, I remembered it was April Fools’ Day and giggled to myself a bit before breathing a sigh of relief. I thought to myself that no one could be worse than Rebecca Black, right? Wrong. After reading the statement that Student Entertainment Events posted on Thursday — just six days after The Diamondback’s April Fools’ prank — I died a little inside.
The day it announced its headliner, SEE posted on its Facebook page, “After weeks of contract negotiations, conversations back and forth with agents, and pulling our hair out in frustration — we are finally ready to release the artists.”
Drumroll please: The winner is Nelly! The crowd goes wild! No, literally, many of us were throwing objects in anger. What the hell, SEE? Nelly? I’m fairly certain he isn’t in high demand, as his popularity rivals only that of former President George W. Bush when he got a shoe thrown at his head.
The outcries on Facebook and the depression that has followed the announcement shows this concert will be a dud. I find it unfortunate that at Penn State University they can book artists such as Bon Jovi, Elton John, The Eagles, Bob Dylan, and B.o.B., just to name a few, while here at this university we can only manage Nelly. And though concerts like the ones put on by Penn State are very different from Art Attack — costing students sometimes as much as $30 a ticket — I for one would be more than willing to pay more to bring an artist that actually still has some standing in the world.
The only thing that made this disgrace more humorous to me was reading The Diamondback’s Friday article “Nelly will headline Art Attack, SEE announces.” Several SEE members are quoted, including concert director Michael Goland, who stated he had been a fan of Nelly since middle school. This actually makes sense, because nine years ago when I was in middle school, I may have been interested in seeing Nelly. But to be honest, I also probably would have wanted an ‘N Sync lunch box, too. Things change over nine years, and maybe it is just me, but I have no intentions of reliving my middle school days.
SEE’s hope of attracting as big a crowd as last year’s concert fell flat on its face. The effort to bring someone current to this university, who people want to see, failed miserably. In fact, I think the April Fools’ joke of bringing Rebecca Black would be a better show. After all, the concert does fall on a Friday, and the university could come together because “we, we, we, so excited!” Unfortunately, that will not happen, and instead, we are stuck with Nelly, who will only sing “it’s gettin’ hot in here, so take off all your clothes” when people start a fire in Byrd Stadium in protest.
Josh Birch is a junior communication and history major. He can be reached at birch at umdbk dot com.
