A distasteful column

I write regarded Wednesday’s tasteless and classless column, “Beauty and the Briefcase,” in which Kyle Lucas borderline wishes death upon actor Charlie Sheen. In the piece, Lucas equates his opinion of Two and a Half Men with his opinion of what might happen following a hypothetical Sheen death. His writing — devoid of wit — enters the realm of painfully unfunny when he assumes the position of indifference toward this theoretical death. He writes, “I’m not hoping he dies, but I would, for sure, not care, and I seriously doubt many of the readers would either.”On the contrary, Kyle, I would care because I have something called empathy and basic human compassion. No one would argue against the fact that Sheen’s lifestyle is outlandish and somewhat ridiculous, but very few people have the nerve to insinuate that they wish death upon this man, especially after mentioning his children in the very same article. And as to your claim that you would have liked to attend Sheen’s party? I guarantee you that there would be no name further down on the guest list than your own.

PETER PROKESCH

SENIOR

ENGLISH

A false rivlary

As a lifelong Terrapin men’s basketball fan, it pains me to say that Duke fans are right: We are not their rival. A rivalry is between two equal entities, and quite frankly, the Terps are not their equals. They have four national championships; we have one. In 169 Duke-Maryland games, the Blue Devils have come out victorious 108 times. That’s not a rivalry, that’s domination. Calling Duke-Maryland a rivalry is like calling the Harlem Globetrotters and Washington Generals rivals. Case in point: When the Terrapins beat Duke at home, we rush the court; when Duke beats the Terrapins at home, nothing happens.

Rivalries are born out of respect, not hate. North Carolina  — the Blue Devils’ true rival — and Duke respect each another. Their games are mostly civilized affairs that usually go by without incident. Maryland-Duke games end in riots and name-calling.

It’s not a rivalry; it’s a grudge match.

On Jan. 28, Cory Kutcher wrote a column titled “Duke: Our rival, no matter what they say.” The article came off as the pathetic plea of a jilted lover — I know you still love me, no matter what you say. It was embarrassing, and he seems to have missed the point: We hate Duke because of who they are, not what they do.

And that’s what confuses them. That’s why Duke fans chant things such as “Not our rival!” They think we want to be them. We don’t — we hate everything Duke represents. But when people like Mr. Kutcher write things like that column, it affirms everything they think.

It’s the differences between the two schools that make these games so good. It’s rich vs. poor; public school vs. private school; rebels vs. the establishment.

Maryland-Duke is the basketball equivalent of the American Revolution. On one side, you have the British, with their advanced armies and their idea of “proper” war tactics. Then you have the colonials, with their army of farmers with pitchforks, who spit on the old way of doing things. Just reverse the colors, and you have Maryland-Duke.

Duke has their McDonald’s All-Americans and their “clever” crowd; the Terps have their 3-star recruits — the Juan Dixons and Greivis Vasquezes — and their “vulgar” crowd. Duke wants the respect of lesser beings, and the Terps want the respect of the Old Guard. But neither is willing to budge. It’s not a rivalry; it’s a battle for respect.

So when the Duke fans chant “Not our rival,” don’t let it get to you, Terp fans. They’re right: We’re not rivals, and that ‘s just fine.

STEVEN RUIZ

JUNIOR

ENGLISH