Chuck Steak? Chuck Steak!
Carlos Danger was gripping the edge of the Empire State Building, the pointy tip in his hand. He tried not to look down — “Come on, your name is Danger,” he told himself — but took a glance anyway, taking in the vast New York City landscape below him. Above him, helicopters buzzed; his tie flapped in the wind. Carefully, he tried to position his phone to continue his conversation. …
That could be the opening scene of a gripping yet tragic comic book featuring New York’s not-so-heroic Anthony Weiner, mayoral candidate and scandal magnet. That anecdote is based on the Aug. 5 cover of The New Yorker, which is based on King Kong’s famous Empire State Building tackle, its artist said.
For all the mockery made of Weiner’s alarming activities, it’s depressing that he isn’t fixing his sexting. But “Carlos Danger” was a joke, Weiner said, and an online name between him and his sexter, Sydney Leathers. So in tribute to Weiner’s unbelievable alias that won’t be forgotten anytime soon, here are some of the best aliases celebrities have used to run a lower profile than Weiner.
1. “Princess Jasmine” — Kim Kardashian
Note: This means Kanye is Aladdin.
2. “Sir Humphrey Handbag” — Elton John
3. “Sigourney Beaver” — Kate Beckinsale
4. “Arnold Schwarzenegger” — George Clooney
Note: He said he loved hearing hotel staff address him as his Batman & Robin co-star.
5. “Bryce and Jasmine Pilaf” — Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
6. “Chuck Steak” — Kristen Stewart
7. “Mr. Drip Noodle” — Johnny Depp
Note: Depp is said to love getting wake-up calls with that name.
8. “Stanley Kowalski” — Jon Bon Jovi
Note: An intellectual choice, reportedly for his love of the play A Streetcar Named Desire.
9. “Frank Sinatra” — Jay Z
10. “Mrs. Smith” — Jennifer Aniston
Note: Because Mr. & Mrs. Smith is said to be the movie where Pitt fell for Jolie while still married to Aniston?
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