It’s time of year for maudlin good-byes in all forms, and reminiscent columns by aging out school newspaper writers are par for the course. This is my last column for The Diamondback, and it’s going to be weird not penning columns for a publication I’ve faithfully written for during the last two years. I would be remiss in my duties as a senior columnist if I didn’t dole out the requisite “words of wisdom,” though I’m attempting to do so in the least corny and sentimental way possible.

I’ve decided to leave a Senior Will. All of us seniors have fantastic memories of this university, our adventures and misdeeds, our friends, the problems we have worked through. But there were a few things I definitely wish I’d had throughout my years at the university. To all of you underclassmen, I hereby bequeath:

1) The ability to take responsibility for your actions.

College is a time to screw up, fix it, then, most likely, screw up again. It’s grand, because you know you’d be toast in the real world if you didn’t show up to work three days in a row because of a killer hangover. Mistakes of other varieties will inevitably occur. You WILL go home with that chick you think resembles Gisele Bundchen only to wake up the next morning next to a John Belushi look-alike. You will go out with guys for the wrong reasons, and you will have delusions that drinking half a handle of vodka, smoking a joint, eating an entire pizza and, of course, seeing who can do all of that the fastest is in fact a fantastic idea. You will realize later, of course, that these are poor choices, but, instead of lamenting about them, acknowledge them and prevent them from reoccurring. If I took all the time I spent overanalyzing and over-dramatizing my issues and instead put that time toward finding solutions, I probably wouldn’t have my therapist on speed dial.

2) The ability to learn to laugh about them, too.

I don’t know any perfect people, and I’m venturing to say you don’t, either. But the people who present themselves only a few steps from perfection do make mistakes. The difference is, they learn to laugh about them. Falling on your ass in front of a hundred people at Santa Fe Café sucks. So does bombing a midterm in a class. But dropping the intensity associated with events such as these serve to lessen their effect on you. “Intense” and “high-strung” are two favorite verbs used to describe me – scarily enough, I have high blood pressure as a 22-year-old female with no weight problem – but I’ve learned to chill about certain things that just won’t matter in two years, and knowing this four years ago probably would have shaved a few points off my diastolic.

3) My loud, opinionated mouth.

I get it – I’m loud and rather adept at speaking my mind, but I don’t see that as a negative. I encourage everyone on this campus to find their inner loudmouth and use it. Whether you’re having problems with an insane, senile professor, a poor friend or a political issue, sound off. It’s never too late. Nothing would have ever gotten accomplished in this world if people never spoke up and fought for what they wanted. There’d be no Constitution, no rights for women or minorities, no resolution of problems and certainly no Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

4) Appreciation of the small things.

I feel satisfied with the range of experiences I’ve had in college. And while the away weekends, formals and football games were fun, it’s the small things I can’t let go of, like the time my freshman floormates dragged all of our mattresses into the lounge because it was too hot to sleep (you totally remember this, Cumb 2 Crew!). Or standing on the sidewalk (casually spectating, of course) on Route 1 during the riots atop your friend’s shoulders watching the flames of the bonfires lick the night sky. Or maybe the time you and your friend think of the fantastic idea to down a bottle of cheap red wine and then cut your hair. While sporting events and awards ceremonies are fantastic, thousands of people shared them. Your unique experiences define who you became at this university, and I will to you the hope they stay with you long after graduation.

I’m in danger of getting sappy here, but I wish all of you lucky enough to be returning to this university next fall the best of luck. And if you feel like supporting a jobless journalism major with no place to live and absolutely no concrete career plans, you know how to contact me. And in the words of the great Billy Madison (clutch a petrified third-grader’s face while reciting this): “Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.”

Nikkee Porcaro is a senior journalism major. She can be reached at cole120@umd.edu.