Ahh, June – what a fabulous month and even greater month to spend in College Park (yes, that’s said without sarcasm). Honestly, during the time when the majority of students choose to take a break from CP, others flock back to it willingly and with excitement. Sound surprising? Clearly, you have yet to be introduced to a few new versions of the College Park that we all know and love.

Hello, student, I’d like to introduce to you “less crowded bars,” “available parking meters,” “hot (hopefully) freshman in orientation” – the list goes on. In other words, welcome to a whole new campus. Don’t get me wrong, though – the university may be in a different mode, but it is not any less fun. In fact, it’s an entirely new way to experience College Park.

Let’s talk about the essential things first – those being nutritional items – aka food – particularly drunk food (because we know that’s the most important). With summer comes the closing of sorority houses, so you won’t be getting waffles, nachos, pretzels, hot dogs, grilled cheese or anything of the like. Eh, Ratsies or Shanghai Cafe will have to do. But who cares? Hot food is overrated. In the summer, it’s all about being cool and staying cool. So who wants to grab a pint of Ben and Jerry’s from Wawa? Put peppermint vodka and chocolate ice cream together and hey! You’ve got a milkshake-consistency peppermint patty!! Or, if you aren’t exactly Martha Stewart, depending on how wasted you get early in the night – you might even be able to catch Coldstone while it’s still open. However, you’ll probably have to run 20 miles the next day to burn that drunk food off. Talk about the worst hungover activity ever. Yikes.

Now, to get drunk, you’ll probably go to a bar and currently there are – drum roll please – THREE MAJOR ONES to party at. OK, so I got you excited – I apologize. But hey, at least you don’t have to be there at the crack of dusk to get in at a reasonable time. Use the extra time to your advantage. Go to the bar at 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. instead of say – 4 p.m. You can take this time to practice your personal bartending skills. I mean, who doesn’t want a drink with a ratio of 90 to 10 – that meaning 90 percent alcohol and 10 percent mixer. However, after a few of those drinks, you won’t be worrying about getting to the bar at all. What you will be doing is worrying if there are cup holders on the stretcher you’ll be carried away on. Lesson learned, either take bartending classes or just go to the bar – you may be paying an arm and a leg for drinks, but those are nothing compared to ambulance fees.

If and when you get to the bar and walk inside, you can actually move freely. No placing of body parts in awkward positions to shimmy by the crowd. No elevating of drinks into the air so that when you bump into people – valuable liquor goes flying. And lastly, no swarm to cover up your awkward drunken self. So go ahead, be a drunken mess and have the time of your life, but be aware that the whole bar is watching you. But you never know – you could be the next backup dancer for Britney – so go ahead and “shake watcha mama gave ya.” If no one else does, I’ll be cheering you on – but most likely laughing on the inside.

So you have the night life down – what do you do when you wake up at 3 in the afternoon on a weekday? Well, newsflash buddy – you just slept through your summer session classes. Kudos to you, slacker. Either that or you missed a day of your internship or job. If neither of those apply, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE!?! Go plant a tree or something. Maybe you’ll rethink your night out on the town when you have to be up at 6 a.m. – I certainly did. A 45-minute Metro ride at 7 a.m. is not conducive with a hangover. Not only that, but you can’t exactly tell the Metro operator to stop so you can uhhh – dispose of stomach contents. Take it easy, you can always go buck wild on the weekends.

Enjoy the time you are in College Park while it’s summer because there is nothing better than Slip ‘N’ Slides and barbecues with college buddies. You might even be lucky enough to catch a riot – for the beginning of – summer session II? Who knows – just make it memorable.

Olivia Logan is a junior journalism major. She can be reached at ologan@umd.edu.