To all those guys and girls involved in long-distance relationships: I feel your pain. We’re young, and everyone should allow their time in college to be one of the most influential experiences of a lifetime. It’s an experience that only comes once, so you’d better enjoy it. Many former university students have met their husbands or wives here, the people they’ve decided to spend the rest of their lives with.
Thanks to its large student population, the university gives students the opportunity to meet countless people. It’s an opportunity to be picky because there are so many options to choose from and learn exactly what you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend. But does a long-distance relationship deny you the experience of meeting people? Are long-distance relationships really worth it in college?
You really love your significant other and you care about them. But are the hours waiting for a phone call, wondering what he or she is doing, missing the person and a simple kiss and fending off admirers really worth the struggle?
Maybe this issue needs a more economic perspective – what is the opportunity cost of being committed to your boyfriend or girlfriend? What is the value of the potential dates you are giving up by being in a commitment?
Perhaps you can relate this issue to math and consider it as two sides of an equation. Is the concentration of hardship you endure being away from your boyfriend or girlfriend greater than the concentration of pleasure you receive from the little time you spend with him or her? In which direction will the reaction proceed? MTV’s fictional boy band, 2gether, taught us that calculus meant “U + me = us.” But when it comes to long-distance relationships, is there a limit to what we can endure?
We live in a technologically advanced society with so many vehicles of communication. On one hand, a long-distance relationship denies you the convenience and ease of communicating through physical contact. But they’re so many other methods of communication, such as e-mail, letters, telephone, instant messenger and even webcam.
I guess there are pros and cons to any relationship, whether it is an on-campus relationship or an off-campus one. Perhaps you get more from the college experience with a long-distance relationship because, ironically, you have more freedom. Instead of spending all your free time with one person and feeling guilty when you can’t, you have the freedom to do what you want when you want, spending time with whomever you want. But a long-distance relationship also denies you the comforts of having your boyfriend or girlfriend close, even if it is for reasons as simple as someone giving you their jacket when you’re cold or taking you out to Noodles or Panda Express and making you feel special.
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Personally, I find absence stinks and presence makes the heart grow fonder. But then again, too much presence is not always a good thing either. Many people are turned off by clingy boyfriends or girlfriends who want to spend all their free time with them. Many people want some room to breathe.
Maybe when it comes down to it, relationships are difficult in general and no one is ever completely happy or satisfied with what they have. We don’t like to admit it, but we all love to complain. I know I’m good at it. There are so many fish in the sea, but when you catch a good one, maybe it’s worth holding on to.
Paula Vasan is a sophomore journalism major. She can be reached at pvasan@umd.edu.
