Q: Halloween is this weekend, and I’m starting to panic. … I have no idea what to dress up as. I want to stay away from things that are too cliché, but I’m not that creative. How can I have a good costume without spending lots of time or money?
A: Halloween in College Park presents two variables that are inherently at odds, yet unavoidable. Given the season, traipsing around Fraternity Row and Route 1 is like traversing Arctic tundra, and the strictly enforced dress code only makes things more difficult. I’m not going to start preaching to girls about respecting themselves as people and not using Halloween as an excuse to dress like prostitutes. After all, what girl hasn’t spent the last 360 or so days eagerly awaiting the one (or seven) day(s) of the year it is socially acceptable to solicit bouts of vulgar and degrading male attention? Bunch of skanks. … Just kidding – I’ll be the girl dancing on the bar at Thirsty Turtle, dressed as a slutty Sarah Palin.
Last year, two of the best costumes I saw featured built-in warming elements and were easy to throw together with things already lying on the floor of anyone’s room. Slutty snowman or slutty hobo both include warm hats and gloves and little else – providing insulation without compromising on sexiness. These costumes also work for guys. I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a girl who can resist the charm of your fingerless gloves clutching a crinkled brown paper bag.
Easy options for creative costumes that are also quick and cheap are those that require one color. A person from the iPod commercial, for instance, is all black. Sonic the Hedgehog is all blue. Any Crayola crayon or fruit is simple enough with some black tape or green construction paper. If you’re a girl, the good thing about these one-color options is you can control the degree of sluttiness and either wear black underwear – or a black muumuu.
Another route that I find successful is dressing as someone pertinent and newsworthy from the past year. Wear a bathing suit and make some tin-foil medallions, and you’re Michael Phelps. If you paint your face white and smear on some slanted lipstick, you can walk around asking people why they’re so serious. Or, spend a little time on a few tabloid websites and you might get some other good ideas.
I obviously can’t give you a completely comprehensive list of costumes, but those are the mechanics of coming up with good ideas. You should try to steer clear of costumes you have to explain. Your game will surely suffer if you’re yelling “Get it? I’m Jim from The Office; you can tell by my tie!” As far as not being cliché is concerned, there are a couple of costumes you’re bound to see every year, usually worn by a gaggle of girls who aren’t brave enough to rock a costume all alone. (Honestly, those costumes are annoying, and you might as well just not dress up.) Among others, these include: hippies, cowgirls, devils, nurses and, yes, even Tom Cruise from Risky Business.
Esti Frischling is a sophomore studio art major, so she literally has nothing better to do than answer your questions. She can be reached at estidbk@gmail.com.
