The end of the semester and graduation stir up a lot of serious questions for undergraduates. Will they find a job? How will they know what’s going on tonight without Lupo’s Power Hour? What friends will they keep in touch with now? Is it OK to still love Thefacebook.com? And what about the romantic relationship they have spent the past months or years of college developing?
Unfortunately, diplomas are not handed out with a list of instructions on how to start your life in the real world, and there are a lot of adjustments students have to make when transitioning to the real world. Relationships are not immune to the stress that comes with this major life shift. Many student couples find themselves trying to fit their past into the future they’re building, but it is not as easy as promising to stay true to the one they love.
Unless both had their relationship in mind when applying for jobs, there is a good chance they will end up in different cities, if not completely different parts of the country. After being able to spend almost every day together during college, the switch to a long-distance relationship puts a new kind of stress on their bond. Not only does the reduced face time make the distance harder, but trust becomes a more important issue as each are meeting new people and experiencing new things without their other half. Starting salaries are rarely large enough to budget in a couple of plane tickets for visits throughout the year, making it nearly impossible to see each other when working hundreds of miles apart.
The space between the lovebirds can be even greater if only one of them is walking across the stage this semester. Even if they will be near each other, the difference in lifestyles could be too much for any couple to handle. Picture this: It’s a Tuesday night, and the one still in college wants to go out. The one with a job is exhausted after getting up early to work all day and wants nothing more than to relax with his or her partner. As insignificant as it may seem, both will have to make sacrifices in order to keep the other happy.
While it is impossible to expect someone in college to live like he’s on a 9-to-5 office schedule, he must be willing to give it a rest every once in a while to get a little R & R with his favorite member of the working world. He has to learn that the other is now living completely on her own and cannot depend on mom and dad to give her extra cash to go out to dinner once a week or to visit every other weekend.
With the responsibility of a full-time job comes maturity. Although those who have graduated cannot be expected to keep up with the social lives of their significant others who are still enjoying their college days, it is OK to cut loose once in awhile. Obviously, the requirements of a job should come first, but meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend for drinks after work and class or catching a late movie on a Thursday night can be good for both your stress level and your relationship.
Staying together after college can be difficult but is definitely possible. The most important things a committed couple can do are to be patient with each other and to compromise whenever possible. Even when significant others stay in the same city, their work schedules will be very different from those they had in college and can mean a lot less time they get to spend together. By being creative and using the time they have effectively, the pair can be as strong as when they had more than enough time to spend together.
Becoming an adult can mean letting go of many things college students hold dear, but that does not mean they have to end a relationship that had worked so well when they were in school. If the couple is truly meant to last, the transition from college to the real world will only bring them closer.
Lissa Barker is a junior journalism major. She can be reached at ebarker@umd.edu.
